Saturday, August 30, 2008

Foot, Cardboard, and Possible Chupacabra

I promised a while back that I would post pictures of my horribly sprung ankle. Is it Sprung or Sprang? Regardless of the correct verbiage, after an x-ray proved that there were no broken bones I was free to hobble about my everyday life. It hurt like a sombitch for the first week, and the swelling/bruising isn't gone entirely yet. It feels fine 2 weeks later. Here is what it looked like right after I springed it.

Self portrait.

I was by myself jogging in the neighborhood when it happened, so I had to limp home and try to precariously balance a bag of ice on it all alone.

Success! Fuck you Cirque du Soleil!

The night I hurt the foot my Amazon order had arrived. For over 20 years my nerdier friends have told me I HAD to read the Watchmen graphic novel. I have always intended to but never could find the desire. I finally caved because the movie is coming out next year. Here I am resting the injury and enjoying some classic literature, with our two children tending to my foot.

Have to say, I'm more than halfway through the book at this point and it's a bit dry for my taste. A lot more words than I'm used to in a comic book. Not enough "BAM" or "KABLOOEYS!"

For the past two weeks I have been wrapping it everyday. I'm afraid if I disturb my foot when it's wrapped, I will fall prey to the curse of MUMMYFOOT!

There's a big comic book type convention in town this week called Dragoncon. It's been going on for years here in Atlanta and it gets bigger every year. Since Adult Swim is based here, there are a ton of Adult Swim shows representin' at the fest. I went to see my buddy Mike Giers band Tongo Hiti perform their usual Thursday night gig at Trader Vics. Dragoncon had just started, so I was hoping to see a ton of costumed freakery. Unfortunaetly there was little to no freaks at the show. The best thing I have is a picture of a dude that was dressed in a full suit of armer made entirely of cardboard.

The best part is he was totally drunk and stumbling all over the place. Here he is telling my wife that me and her made a good couple and she should marry me.

Next he told her he was a cuddler, after which my wife offered to write that on his suit. One sharpie later it said "Cuddler" across the ass of his cardboard armer. Our job was done.

That day at work, one of the guys that runs the government sanctioned Aqua Teen Hunger Force Fansite John J. Galbo, came by the Radical Axis to get a tour. He is a super nice guy and he was at Trader Vics that night so I made him hang out with us.

Today I was frightened to find this in our driveway.

It's safe to assume this means only one thing, Chupacabra! What other creature can devour and entire house cat whole on spit out the collar, leaving no trace of the feline? Chupacabra thats what.

Needless to say I'm loading my rifle and sitting out on my porch tonight wearing my night vision goggles. We eatin' Chupacabra fajitas for Sunday brunch. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


With this blog entry I will officially tie the number of blogs I did last year. That's right, I've met my imaginary, self imposed, completely fabricated, and meaningless blog quota. A lesser blogger might sit back and coast, blogless, for the rest of the year.

Don't worry fare blogoholic, I plan on writing at least 2 to 3 more blogs this year, setting the bar even higher for next year. I'm like the Michael Phelps of blogging, except my mouth is normal sized. You'll be able to return to my site to read the boring details of my life. I won't be phoning them in either, oh no. Here are some of the things you've come to expect from my blog and can look forward to in the coming monthes.

1. Long winded diatribes when I have one of my infamous bursts of self doubt and depression about how I'm not good enough at anything.

2. Mildly amusing, if not amusing at all, reports of my travels. Complete with endless photographs.

3. Short angry emotional outbursts about people driving and texting or the sad state of television.

4. Cryptic messages about projects I'm working on that excite me, but I'm not allowed to talk about.

5. Reposts of old videos I've made because I have been to lazy and/or busy to make new ones.

6. New videos I've made about pooping, farting or other low brow activities in an attempt at comedy.

7. Wild card.

I'm calling all the blogs that follow this one my, "Gravy Blogs©". Consider the entries to follow the cherries on top of the delicious blog Sunday I've been making for the past 8 months. That's enough food analogies for today, it's to close to lunch and I'm making myself hungry.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Lost but not Forgotten

I'm having a bit of a bad day mentally speaking. Just feeling a bit down in the dumps, whoa is me, blah blah blah. I'll get over myself soon enough and get back on track.

At any rate I went home from work to have a little alone time and get myself out of my mental funk. I'm editing a demo real of some of my projects and I came across the old episodes of Space Zones. The first episode is a little slow, but I fucking laughed my balls off at the second one. There are so many stupidly funny moments. I hadn't watched them in a long time. I made them for Channel 102 in New York with some of my improv buddies, but they didn't get selected that time around.

The big guy in the cowboy hat is Will McLaughlin, he's is a great improv performer and you've seen him in tons of commercials. The Commander is Rich Sommer, he is currently on that great show Mad Men, he is a great actor and a super sweet guy. Charlie Sanders is Dark Phaser. Charlie is another great improv and comedy performer. My good friend Eli Newell is also in the episode, Eli and Charlie are always appearing in sketches on the Conan O'Brien Show. I was so lucky to be friends with such a great and talented group of performers while in New York.

This really did cheer me up. If you have never seen it before I embedded the second and best of the two episodes below, enjoy.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I'm totally stoked!

I discovered a new measurement of time at lunch today. It's the split second between when you think, "Maybe I should cover this procedure with my other hand" and you shoot painful stinging acidic juice in your eye. It's called the "Speed of Lemon". It's a breakthrough for science, and I only had to irritate the fuck out of one of my eyes to discover it. Go Science!

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my messed up ankle examined. She made me get an x-ray which turned up no conclusive evidence. I just sprang my ankle really really bad. It's still bruised and puffy. I guess it's going to take a while to get back to it's normal foot shape.

I can't wait, I ordered a passport from China that says I'm 16 years old. It should be here soon. Now I can finally perform my uneven bars routine in the Olympics! U S A! U S A!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Robotboy Episode 2!

They aired my second Robotboy Episode last Saturday, but I forgot to tell anyone. I didn't even tell my mom, heck I forgot to watch. Luckily my buddy at work Todd recorded it for me and burned it onto a DVD.

I just watched it and am pleasantly surprised yet again at how closely it followed my original script. I have found that in the writing for hire game, there are usually a lot of changes made after you turn in the "Final Draft" of your project. The editor or storyboard artists will add and change things. It gets a little frustrating, but in the end I got a pay check and I was writing for a client so my opinions didn't really matter at the end of the day.

I am so jazzed about these episodes, they are so much fun and so well done. My buddy Bob Camp, who directed the series, did a great job. Check out his blog to see some of his amazing sketches, he is a great friend and a living legend.

Once the guy that has been posting the Robotboy's on You Tube posts this episode I'll link to it.

I twisted my ankle really badly the other day. I have pictures at the house and I will post them next time. I can walk on my ankle with it hurting to much or at all at times, but the bruise keeps moving around, so I think I'm going to the doctor to get it X-rayed. I'm guessing they will have to cut off the foot.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Best Advice Ever

For years people have asked me for advice. Advice on film making, advice on writing, advice on women, advice on animation. I in no way am qualified to give anyone advice on anything, but I do give good advice. I do this by weighing the situation, thinking about the person, thinking about their problem logically, playing devils advocate, and once my computations are done I give the best scenario of what they show do, with no bias, no prejudice, just logical and well meaning intentions. The problem is, most people asking for advice, don't actually want advice, and ignore the most obvious solutions to their problems. Why don't they take the advice? Because usually the most obvious solution is the hardest thing to do. Tell the truth, be honest, follow your heart. As trite as these concepts may seem, they aren't easy things to do. They take courage, they take risk, and they take time. We are a society of people that want immediate gratification, and have been predisposed to the quick fix. Make no mistake, the right thing to do is never quick or easy, but the end result is always 100% more satisfying and effective every time.

I stumbled across this video today of animator Ralph Bakshi talking about animation. He gives the most honest straight forward advice. Advice I've tried to tell people to do for years. To be extremely cliche, it all boils down to "Just do it". Three words that for some reason carry more weight than anything ever stated. Watch this video, even if you have no idea who this old dude is, watch this video because at its core, his advice can fit into any every situation life throws at you.

Now go! Create! Make changes! Step outside your comfort zone! Your life will thank you. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and a life with regret isn't a life at all.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Happy Birthday DAD!

His birthday was actually yesterday, August 2nd, but I lost power due to inclement weather from 6:45pm until about 3am, so I couldn't hop online and write this last night.

My dad just turned 60 years old, sorry for telling everyone dad. I just wanted to take this chance to talk a little bit about the man that let me live so many times when he probably wanted to kill me, for that I will always be grateful.

You could say my dad likes to play baseball. I'm not sure if like is a strong enough verb. In fact, he's in St. Louis this very weekend playing in a tournament. He started playing when he was 5 years old, and never stopped. In fact, he was so excited about going to baseball practice once when he was a kid, that he ran smack dab through a sliding glass door, shattering it.

A good portion of my childhood was spent at baseball games. I had my first near death experience at a baseball game, as an infant. An errant ball came flying into the crowd, right toward my soft spot. Luckily a nice man reached out and caught the ball before it crushed my wittle baby skull. A lot of people think it hit me, and actually that would indeed explain a lot.

In his heyday, dad was on about 5 teams at the same time, playing ball almost ever night of the week. I'm not entirely sure why his baseball cap didn't grow onto his head permanently.

My dad is career military. He joined up right before my parents got married back in 1969 and has worked for the naval air station ever since. He's the MWR director, which is a fancy way of saying he runs each and every recreational aspect of the station. For me, growing up, this meant I had my own naval air station all to my self. I wasn't a shy kid and I ran all over that place with reckless abandon. In fact if anyone asked me what I was doing I told them it was OK because my dad owned the place. To this day I'm surprised I didn't got shot.

Dad's lifted weights and been a freak about fitness since I can remember. Unfortunately that trait was not hereditary. He's always been all muscled up. If ever I wanted to pull the, "my dad could beat up your dad", shtick when I was a kid, there would've been a lot of dads shaking in there loafers.

Dad used to be a bit of a hot head in his younger fathering days. If I ever came to him crying or upset that someone was mean to me, he would take care of it toot sweet. Usually confronting the person directly with some choice words. Luckily it always ended with the other person backing down. He's calmed down quite a bit over the years and realizes now that his behavior was a bit irrational. I'm pretty sure once I become a parent I won't think he was as irrational as I did back in the day. His intentions were in the right place even if his actions were misguided.

He loves to fix up my parents house. He's always working on the lawn, putting up a new fence or building a new wing. He's changed the house so much since they bought it, that I can hardly recognize the place from my childhood.

Growing up my father had Mondays off from work. Starting sometime in my elementary school days, Monday we had family night. We would go out to eat or go see a movie. I loved and looked forward to spending time with the family. I cherished these nights and even at my young age I knew each one of these nights was special.

My dad has 2 PHD's. He's a very smart man. Maybe to smart. That wasn't hereditary either. As well as his job at the base, he teaches night courses at a local college.

My dad has been several things to me growing up. He has been feared. He has been admired. He has been misunderstood. He has been hated. He has been loved. Most importantly he has always been there for me. I don't like to admit if I need help, but when I did he knew it. He would offer gladly without ever making me feel like I owed him anything. He always made me feel safe, when I was scared. He has done so much to insure I lived a secure and happy life.

Me and my dad are both motivated by different interests in life. Neither one of us understands why either one peruses those interests so adamantly, but we both respect and support each others desires and dreams. I could not have asked for a better, stronger, or more loving man to call my father. Happy Birthday dad, I hope your around for 60 more years, swinging that bat all the way home.

The End is Nigh

Here we are finally. The last blog about my California trip. I never thought we'd make it, but here we are.

It's officially Sunday and my head isn't pounding to hard from the previous nights liquid fun intake. Today I'm heading to Anaheim to spend the day with my good friend Mike Hagan, his wife Cathy, John Flynn and Mickey Mouse. First I drop the girls off at a pub on 5th Street. They are meeting their mom and a couple of other folks to watch a soccer game or match, I'm not to good with the sports. I sit with them for a couple of minutes then excuse myself around noon so I can meet my friends at Disney Land. On the way I make a quit pit stop at the In and Out Burger. If my wife asks it was for some scientific research.

After rushing my tests results over to the lab, I headed to the happiest place on earth. Unfortunately the liquor store was closed, so I went to Disney Land instead. If you squint you can see it off in the distance.

I met my friends, took out a loan, bought my ticket, and got ready to feel the magic.

If you know me very well, you know I've been to Disney World over 20 times. I'm like a little kid when it comes to Disney theme parks. OK I'm like a little kid when it comes to everything, especially tying my shoes. I love going to the park because it makes me feel young and care free. I think they really go out of their way at Disney to make you forget about the big bad world just outside the gates. There really is no other place like them, except maybe heaven, but the lines way to long for that place.

Here we are in front of the, well of what they call Cinderella's Castle. All I can say is this tiny thing ain't got nothing on Cinderella's Castle at the Florida park. It made me feel tall.

It was hot as blazes outside. The good thing was there weren't many people at the park.

Here we are on one of the many roller coasters.

I forgot to shave.

Toon Town is a lot different at the California park than it is at Florida. It's much larger in California.

I found out that cartoons are really hard and plastic feeling. I always thought they would be soft and rubbery, like Oprah.

Here I am in my Honda Fit.

John seems to have sat on the remote control. Every time he farted the channel changed.

My direction for Mike and Cathy was to look like Mike was mad at Cathy about the bills. They did great. I thought when Mike started slapping Cathy it was a bit overboard, especially because he did it for several hours.

Those bars were rubber so people could bend them, or they were steal and I'm one strong mother fucker.

Playing this instrument really seems to have worked Mike up into a sweat.

Mickey was nice, until he said he'd suck my dick for some cheese. Mickey needs help, maybe a 12 step program.

This wasn't part of Toon Town, this is John's apartment.

There was a tiny roller coaster in Toon Town, here's a birds eye view from the coaster.

We literally stopped for 3 seconds to look at this wizard dudes show, and he called John up to be in the show.

He told him to pull the sword out of the stone, but John could not do it. Pussy.

So he made him stand in a silly pose until he found someone that could pull it out.

He picked the girl from Little Miss Sunshine.

She did it and apparently was the new Queen or some stupid shit. Kids get to do all the cool stuff, it's not fair. That's why I pushed her down later and stole her crown. Who's queen now jerk!

They make you wear these in the park and if you go in a restricted area your head blows off.

We all had a special moment with this guerrilla, the guerrilla was a whore.

We stayed until 9pm and watched the fireworks. It was awesome. Thanks Mike and Cathy for showing me such a great time, and thanks for not raping me John. Again.

The next day I didn't have anything to do so I took a bike ride.

This was my horn.

Vanessa and Noelle have a beautiful little neighborhood.

I kept shouting coordinates, but I never could sink this battleship.


I liked the place so much I opened up a little shop.

That night I had dinner with the girls then we watched National Treasure Book of Secrets. I was upset Nick Cage never put on a bear suit, but what can you do?

The next day I hopped on a jet and made my way back home, thus ending the longest trip to California and the longest blog about a trip to California ever. I need to send a special shout out to Vanessa and Noelle for being such great hosts. Thanks for not kicking my over staying house guest ass out after the first couple of days.