Thursday, July 9, 2009

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The End is Nigh

Is anyone else worried that Michael Jackson is going to rise from the grave with an army of undead, bloodthirsty, choreographed, brain eating zombies? I mean it was prophesied in the thriller video. I'm buying shotgun shells just in case.

Don't worry to much though, if the zombies are all dancers, it's a pretty sure thing that they will be taking a lot of smoke breaks. This will give you extra time to run away.

Here is another sign that this may happen, Capcom just released the cover for their next installment of the Resident Evil franchise:

Don't worry, I've already called down to reserve my room in hell.

I was just wondering when MJ died, did he revert back to his pre-surgery state? Like when you kill a werewolf and it turns back into a human.

Also, hell just called back and is reserving an entire floor for me.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Client Has Chosen You

I was trolling Craig's List last week for job leads and came across a strange listing in the tv/film/video/radio jobs section. It was just titled "Green Screen". I clicked the link and found out they were looking for all body types and ages for "green screen" work. I totally fit those parameters, plus they were paying 75 dollars for two hours of work.

They didn't want head shots or resume's, just a full body picture. I sent them this:

I know... I know, totally sexy right?

I figured what he hell. After a day or two I received an e-mail from them, informing me that the "client" had chosen me. I was to be at the studio between 2pm and 4pm the following Tuesday.

It all seemed very ominous. I had no idea what it is for (and still don't) or what I would be doing. I couldn't help but picture a shadowy figure in the back of the room, smoking a cigarette and talking through a microphone that distorted his voice. He would lean forward into the microphone and say things like, "Mr. Gibbons, I need you to bend over and pick up that gun in front of you... slower... with conviction... think about a puppy... ", sounding like the dude from all 87 Saw movies.

On Monday I got a call from them telling me to wear dark clothing. They also wanted to know if it was OK if they had me walk on a treadmill. At first I thought this might be a very elaborate hoax by my wife to get me to do some exercise.

This afternoon I drove to the studio which was in a pretty shady part of town. For all intents and purposes I could have been going to an alien landing site to be eaten by space creatures and no one would have ever known.

I pulled up and parked in front of the warehouse. After walking into literally 4 of the wrong offices, I finally found the right building. I signed the waver and was lead to a big open studio with a huge green screen.

The producer told me where to stand as 7 people entered the room and sat in directors chairs to watch. They never said a word. I was told to stand there and act as if I was at a bus stop. I did. Then they told me to change into the cargo shorts I was instructed to bring. I was again directed to stand there.

As a performer, it was very difficult. I had to really reach down inside and pull out several very real, very painful memories of situations where I was just standing around in order to really make my performance read. It was some of my best work.

Ten minutes from the time I arrived I was leaving, $75 bucks richer. That means I was making $450 dollars an hour... sort of. It's tough work being a paid actor. I can see why actors are always bitching and moaning about their life.

Monday, July 6, 2009


A while ago I did a test spot for Adult Swim. Here is that very spot:

It was the inspiration for the Night-OH-Cabaret spot that followed. Also still looking for work, so if you need a copy writer, writing assistant, video editor or monkey to turn the handle on your organ grinder let me know.

Friday, July 3, 2009

New Segment

I have wanted to do this for a while, and now I have gone and done it. Enjoy:

Land Mime

I'm playing a mime/assassin in an improv show tonight at Dad's Garage here in Atlanta. It's an improvised soap opera that takes place in a circus. It's the 8th or 9th show and I'm a guest player. It should be a lot of fun, so if you are in the ATL stop on in tonight.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Seriously, dude... seriously

I'm grabbing all my blog readers by their collar, all 5 of you, and pulling you dramatically to me. Our noses are inches away as I stare into your eyes with a desperate gaze. I grit my teeth and say, "I'm begging ya man, help me get some work!"

Tightening my grip on your shirt I shake you for effect. You uncomfortably look away from my piercing stare. I raise my hand forcing your head to turn slightly, reconnecting or eyes. You can hear the immediacy in my voice as I plead, "Seriously, dude, you have got to know of someone, heard about something, anything. I just need a little help to get some work man." My cadence is strong and fearless.

I let go of you, sinking your tip toed stance back into its normal full foot/floor contact. You step back, shaken by my emotional plea. Rubbing your forearm you nervously search your mind, thinking, reaching back for something. You want to say something that might placate my needs. But don't.

All the times before when I asked, you dismissed me with the normal conversational formalities. You would automatically, almost dismissively, utter, "Yeah yeah man, I'll see if I can find anything or hear anything." Then you would go back to your self absorbed daily grind. I'm not condemning you for this. I do the same thing hundreds of times a day. We all do. It's our nature to want to please people with empty sentiment.

I'm am asking you all to break from the natural human need to appease everyone with empty promises. There are a lot of you out there that know me. You know that I am smart and talented. You know I can do a lot of different things. All I am asking is for you to take a second, think about it, and see if you know of somebody who may be looking for someone.

Just thought I'd ask for some work leads in as entertaining a way as I could. Thanks internet friends. BTW I'm looking for writing, editing, acting or production work in the Atlanta area, but will pretty much take anything at this point.