Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I did it and will be posting all the comments and responses soon. Unfortunately facebook blocked me from posting right before 5 o'clock. They said I was posting to much and possibly in violation of some stupid facebook law. Up yours facebook.

Postapaloosa '09

I'm trying to leave a comment on every status update that pops up on facebook today from 9am to 5pm EST. Not sure why, not sure if I'll make it, and still not sure after 10 years exactly who let the dogs out.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Fun With Crappy Cell Phone Camera

Was at the mall yesterday and saw that somebody had taken a P.

Not real sure what this magazine is talking about.

This is a Great Time to be Alive, Unfortunately

I had the realization that we're living life way to fast. We are accessible 24 hours a day on our cell phones and just seconds away from all the knowledge in the universe. By the time a person reaches the age of 50, they have probably seen and done 10 times as much as someone the same age from just 30 years ago.

Think about it, if you want to get together with 4 friends for dinner, all you do is text or e-mail them 30 minutes beforehand. If you don't know how to get to the restaurant you just type the address into your GPS.

Thirty years ago you would have to plan a meeting like that days in advance. You would call your friends on their home phone. If they weren't there you would have to keep calling until they answered. They would check their schedule and have to get back to you. You would have to wait for them to call you back. If you didn't know how to get to the restaurant you would have to look up it's number in the phone book, call, and ask for directions. If they gave you bad directions and you got lost you would have to stop and ask someone for directions.

Flash back 30 more years and the same situation would take even longer. It's pretty crazy to think about.

Are we any smarter because of this? No, unfortunately our new instant access world wide communication abilities have just turned us into a bunch of self absorbed narcissistic attention whores. I mean, you're reading my blog right now. I'm sitting in my boxer shorts typing this in an attempt to get attention. I actually believe people give a shit about what I have to say. And the best part about this is, you have the ability to comment about what I have to say, as if I gave a shit about what you have to say. It's a vicious circle of selfish egotism.

I know nobody cares about what I have to say. I'm a self aware narcissist, and yet I can't seem to stop myself from being sucked into the belly of the beast. I don't think a lot of people are aware of their own "issues" or problems. It doesn't seem that way at least. Maybe they are and they just don't want to deal with them. Fair enough I suppose.

I'm all to aware of each and every one of my flaws, and there are a lot. I even try to fix them from time to time. Not very successfully, but I do try.

My point, I guess, is that even though we are living faster, learning more, and experiencing tons of things, we as a people aren't any better off for it. I'm not very smart. I want to be, but I'm not. I'm sitting in front of this magical infinite knowledge machine, and yet all I choose to do with it is look up info on video games and porn. I could read every volume of the encyclopedia, learn to fix an engine, or figure out what creates a black hole, but instead I'm reading about the new iPhone.

I suppose a person is shackled to their interests. I love movies, video games, and comedy. In turn that is what defines my internet searches. You may love horses and back surgery, and that determines what you search. I'm not sure why we pigeon hole ourselves into such narrow minded life paths. Maybe it's because we have been conditioned to need labels placed on things in order to understand them. It's easier to say that a song is "country", than saying it's a blue grassy, jazz infused, northern Ireland inspired, bass heavy, rhythmic exploration. We need generalized boxes in which to put our lives. Unfortunate this leads to us putting ourselves into those very boxes.

I get so angry when I'm out with people that won't try different food. They have three things they eat and turn their noses up at anything different. I'm not sure when it happened to me, but I know there was a time when I was the same way. One day I opened my mind and tried something new. It was amazing and now I have eaten so many delicious things from every corner of the globe. It opens your eyes to culture and diversity. That's not to say I have liked everything I've eaten, but at least I've tried. Saying "No" really limits your life even with something so seemingly trivial as food.

OK I'm rounding home now. Bottom line, we have the chance to open our minds. This is a glorious time to be alive as far as knowledge goes. I'm going to try to read a web page everyday that is out of my narrow cone of interests. I want to broaden my knowledge and my perspective and I'm politely asking you to follow me.

Just because we have the abilty to be more awesome, doesn't mean we are.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Media Blitz

The big show's finished. The lights have faded, the curtain's been drawn, and the vomit has been steamed out of the carpets. I thought I'd post some snippets from the media frenzy that surrounded the event. We worked our fingers to the bone to get coverage for this event and it literally did about as good as yelling into a toilet. Oh well.

Here is Part 1 and 2 of a video interview we did for
Pegasus News.

Just a side note, I'm not that fat, the camera guy had the bad posture lens attached and we didn't notice until after the interview.

Our Interview on The Richard Hunter Show. It was a live remote from a strip club by the way.

And last but certainly not least, a nice shout out from Dana Snyder on his weekly podcast The Ken P. D. Snydecast.

The show really was great, I just wish more people could have enjoyed it.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Squirrels, Fishers, and find me a job

When I was in Dallas last week, Ricki and I shot some video stuff for the Cabaret show. Our film maker buddy Clay Liford let me use the edit bay in his apartment to cut the video stuff together.

While I was tirelessly toiling away at Final Cut Pro, I noticed that there was something moving outside the window directly to my left. It turned out to be a squirrel on the window upon closer inspection. He was eating a leaf. I got right up to the window and the little guy didn't even flinch. I decided to snap a picture with my crappy cell phone.

It turned out OK, but I wanted to get closer. I tapped on the window to see what he would do. All he did was look at me, then start licking the glass. I took another picture of him doing this and I will forever be kicking myself for not having a better camera on me.

Me and Ricki decided to make some new video pieces for the 10th anniversary of the Cabaret. We thought instead of making silly fake commercials we would make videos involving actual characters from the past 10 years of the show.

One of the characters that I loved doing was a jazz musician called Fisher T. Price. I wanted to base a character off of all these toy instruments I had been buying at he time, thus a jazz great was born. We decided it would be funny if this character had actually died and we had made a memorial video about him. I added a couple of scenes to this version that weren't in the live screening, please enjoy:

It's back to trying to find a job. Me and the wife are inches away from closing on our first house. It's not the biggest house on the block, but it will be ours. I'm excited about all the free shoes we will inevitably be getting because our house is so small that people will keep mistaking it for a shoebox.

At any rate, a job would be great so I can help pay the mortgage each month. Keep your fingers crossed out there, thanks.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


The show was absolutely amazing!

I wanted to say thanks to all of you brave souls that attended. We worked really hard on putting the show together. I might have developed an ulcer in the process. It was all worth the trouble. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Dana Snyder rocked the house. He was great as usual and I can't say enough nice things about him. Me and Ricki had lunch with him the following Sunday. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Thanks again Dana for helping us entertain the masses.

Wanted to thank Sam "Sammy" Mertes for working the DVD player. I hate asking my friends to work our shows, but with our non existent budgets, it's sort of impossible not to call on your buddies to help out. You did great Sam and we really appreciate it. You are and will always be my best friend.

Richard "Dickie Vantatsic" Ross did a great job with the props and as Shekkie's blind rim shot provider. Thanks for always lending a hand and not complaining, even when we force you to wear a diaper on stage. Also please buy Richards paintings so he can feed his new baby. The baby eats money.

Thanks to Kelly Kitchens for helping us spread the word about the show. Our show is hard to explain and we have no idea how to do PR, so we really appreciate it when you provide your services, no matter how many tickets you need. Also, more interviews at strip clubs please.

We may not always see eye to eye on things, but we certainly balance each other out. Ricki Derek's a good friend and a great performer. I'm truly thankful that we connected and were able to create such a timeless, fun, different, strange, endearing, always maturing and long running piece of entertainment. I look forward to our next project, because they help keep us young. Well, that and the collagen injections.

Also thanks to Sibley and the kids for putting up with me each time we do a show. You are a gracious, loving and understanding host. I love that you have the kids around as well, so there is someone shorter than me at the house. I know I take Ricki away from you guys for a week, but I always give him back. Not in the best condition, but back nonetheless.

Thanks to Paul Armstrong for letting us shake out the good jokes in his brain, and for not getting upset when we incinerated the bad ones.

Thanks to the rest of the cast for blindly going with us to bigger and better venues, even though you wanted us to keep the show hidden away inside a dark dank cavern. Trust us guys, we know whats best for the show, and it ain't a small vomit covered bar.

Thanks to Clay Liford for letting us use his editing suite at the last minute. You are always supportive and always willing to help. Best of luck with the new movie and looking forward to being your Oscar date.

Thanks to Wayne at the Lakewood. You really believe in the show, and we couldn't ask for a better venue. You helped us bring the show to life at the Lakewood and even if it wasn't as successful as we had hoped, you understand the show's worth and you appreciate the work we put into it. That means a lot to us both.

I wanted to thank my wife for letting me play with Ricki. She may not understand why I want to work so hard on something that frustrates me so much and generally makes me no money, but she has never told me not to do it. Thank you for loving me enough to know that I occasionally need to follow my heart down dark tunnels, knowing that you will always be on the other side to pull me out.

Thanks for pulling overtime to help me with the tiger cage Mom. I know every time I come into town I put you to work, but I think deep down you enjoy it. Right? It keeps things exciting. I love you so very much and I literally could not do what I do without your help. Thanks! Oh yeah, and Dad, thanks for not grounding me when I force mom to do my bidding. I'm also sending you get well rays for your shoulder.

This is starting to sound like a suicide note. It's not, I promise. I just wanted to get something down to show my appreciation to all those that make the Cabaret possible. I'm sure there are tons more to thank and hug. Just know that the Cabaret holds a very special place in my heart. It helped me to grow into the confident performer I am today. It helped push me to write more. It helped me realize that not all ideas are golden, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try. It opened up a world of new friends. It introduced me to a kindred spirit. But most of all it allowed me to make people laugh. That is my one true love in life, and I've stored all those laughs in my soul. They help me move forward. They stand me up when I'm full of doubt. Nothing in the world will ever take those away from me.

Thanks for the laughs Cabaret. Now... whens the next show?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Truck and Tractor Trailer

Only 3 weeks left until the HUGE Night-OH-Cabaret show. I'm so freaking excite! It's going to be amazing. Hope you've gotten your tickets and told all your friends. The tickets are selling really well and I really super duper hope we sell out.

My good buddy Mike Geier read a commercial I wrote for the show in his amazing Truck and Tractor Pull announcer voice. I just got done editing the video part and it turned out really fun, check it out.

I've got that butterfly feeling in my gut already for the show. This will be the biggest thing we've ever tried to pull off and it's all starting to sink in. I have a ton of stuff to memorize and get ready for the show.

For the love of Pete, if you've been putting off coming to the show, stop it! Come to this one! It will at the very least be something fun and different to do on a Saturday night.

Love you guys, gotta get back to work.