Wednesday, April 30, 2008

GTA 4 or Why having a real life isn't enough

Yesterday I went to my local Gamestop and traded in my now useless Guitar Hero controllers for store credit in hopes of snatching up a copy of GTA 4. Along with two other games I managed to aquire 86 dollars store credit. The game cost 60 bucks, I was stunned to actually have more than enough store credit to get the game. That rarely happens when trading in games. As the Gamestop employee is handing me my Gamestop credit card she says they are out of PS3 versions of the game. I was upset, but the fact that I had 86 Gamestop dollars in my pocket offset this a little.

After returning to work I call a couple of Gamestops and found one that said they had "plenty" of GTA's left. I had to wait until 7:30, because of my non game related actual life, to travel all the way out to the Gamestop to pick up one of the "plenty" of copies that they were supposedly harboring. I arrive only to be told they have them, but had to stop selling them to people without a reserved copy. They do however have a PS3 "Special Edition" left for a mere 86 bucks. My logical mind tells me immediately to walk out in disgust after being told I was going to be able to bath in a pool filled with copies of GTA 4. And thats what I do. I walked maybe three paces out of the store when my illogical self psychally stopped my body. It was like I was in cement and couldn't move any further.

My illogical brain makes the insane argument that I was given the exact amount in Gamestop bucks so I could buy this. I turn around and demand the deluxe edition. She rings it up, and just like with all my trade-in encounters, I have to pay and extra 6 bucks. The deluxe edition did come with a real lock box though, and a kitten.

I've never come out ahead in the trade-in a game to buy a new game equation. It always ends up with me shelling out a little extra cash. I could've waited an extra day, but I was tired of running man... tired!

I grabbed the game and high tailed it back home to shoot some bad guys and hump some whores. The game looks amazing. The controls are a little wonky, but every new game has a learning curve at first.

On the tooth front, I can almost eat semi softish items on the right side of my head again. It's still a little tender, but I'm assuming at some point it will be back to normal.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Please, step away from the earpiece...

Fun Fact #4584

Continuing to wear your blue tooth ear piece while not using it, makes people think you're a complete tool.

Seriously, take those fucking things off if you're not using them. Do you really think you're so fucking important that a call may come that you have to answer immediately at any moment? No one's that important. Doctors aren't that important, policemen aren't that important, and I guaran-damn-tee you, stereo salesmen at Best Buy aren't that important.

Do you think it's some sort of status symbol? Well let me be the first to tell you it's not. This may be a big shock to you, dude in cheap business suit eating big mac at McDonalds, but cell phones stopped being a status symbol when they started selling them at truck stops.

Until the day they're surgically implanting consumer grade technology into our bodies, that little blinking plastic cancer magnet makes you look like a cyber douche bag.

Monday, April 28, 2008

What time is it? Tooth Hurty

This morning marks the 3rd time I've gone to the dentist in two weeks. I'm like Bill Murry from Little Shop of Horrors. On Friday the tooth I just had recapped started to hurt a little bit. By Saturday it was on! My mouth was a hot bed of throbbing full on anguish. It hurt so freaking bad I contemplated ripping it out of my head with a pair of pliers marathon man style.

Saturday morning I watched my episode of Robotboy and it was totally awesome. My tooth seemed fine so I started writing those story ideas for my pitch. I'm also submitting some short film concepts, so I scoured my computer for old ideas and scripts. That night however my tooth was single handedly trying to kill me.

Sunday morning we bought some advil and anbesol, which seemed to lessen the pain slightly. Next we went to a diner for brunch and it was damn near impossible to eat. We left a message at the dentist and didn't feel it was necessary to call the emergency number.

We drove around and looked at houses we can't afford for a while then I needed to have a beer. Just what the dentist ordered for a throbbing mouth ache.

This morning we got in contact with the dentist and I drove in to have the doc look it over. I got the third x-ray of my mouth this month. My head officially glows in the dark. The doc grabbed his black-n-decker dremel and did some wood working in my mouth for a bit. It smelled terrible and smoke was coming out of my mouth. After installing some shelves and knocking out a wall for better Feng Shui, he said it should feel better. It's been about 2 hours since the procedure and he was right. I feel so much better.

I've concluded that having your tooth NOT hurt is much better than having it hurt.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Music Video!

The music video I did is online. I'm not sure who posted it, and unfortunately it's on a weird site that won't let me embed it onto my blog. But here is the LINK to go and watch it. Please take a look and let me know what you think in my comments section below. Also please "Digg" it if you are a member of that site.

I did everything on it. Animation and editing. It was a solid month of working 6 days a week. I think it turned out pretty good. It ain't Disney, but it's fun.

Also my episode of Robotboy airs tomorrow morning on Cartoon Network at 11:30am EST. My episode is in the second half of the show and it's called "Up a Tree". Please check it out if you don't have anything better to watch at 11:30 am on a Saturday.

Have a great weekend people.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

We need you to be creative, go...

I finally addressed the notes for a pitch I'm working on and put it together for the people involved. They loved the new direction and the characters. Now I have to think up 5 story lines to go along with the pitch. Oh yeah and I need them by Friday. The thing that makes this so difficult is that this show hasn't been around for years. It's not like writing ideas for the Simpson's or a show that you know already. It doesn't have it's "voice" yet. In essence I'm creating that voice. It's so hard to write a show that doesn't exist yet.

I haven't really sat down and wrapped my head around it just yet. After years of figuring out exactly what writing is, I now know that coming up with a "problem" isn't story writing. For instance, "The farm must be saved from foreclosure" isn't a good story synopsis. Where as "Farmer Joe's parents were killed by accountants so he must over come his crippling fear of number 2 pencils in order to save his farm from foreclosure" is better. The first one sounds like a story, but it's just an issue. The second one involves character and that characters arc. That's what story must consist of, a person going on a journey to overcome an obstacle, not just an obstacle sitting there forcing people to run around trying to deal with it.

I have all these characters, an environment, and circumstances. I just need to discover the characters motivation, their fears and wants, what they need and how they try to do to get it. And I need to do it in two days, during my free time.

How many fucking "career networks" do I need to be a part of for Christ's sake. I'm on Linkedin and some other one, and then I got an invite for two more today. The only time I ever even look at them is when I get a friend invite. Has anyone ever gotten work off of one of these things?

Friday, April 18, 2008

Stink Tooth

Happy Friday everyone! Just got back from the dentist and boy are my teeth tired.

This tale comes with a little back story. I've had a cap on one of my teeth for about 17 years now. About 4 months ago I was eating something and the cap lifted off it's perch for just a moment, and was quickly shoved back down into place as I continued to chew. I felt it come up and thought it was odd. Then a horrible smell emitted from my mouth. It was as if death himself had farted. The tooth seemed to be in place OK, and being a man I decided it wasn't a problem. Also being a man, I made the mistake of telling my wife, who is a woman, about my stinky tooth. She flipped out and said I needed to go the the dentist ASAP. Since then, she's had a problem kissing me passionately because all she can think of is ol' stinky.

I finally make an appointment 4 months later. OK I made her make me an appointment, after all she's the one with the problem, not me. I make my way around the maze that Atlanta calls roads. Nancy said the person at the dentist's office told her it was very important to be in the right left turn lane so I could turn into the doctors office which would be immediately on my right. I pull into the building, walk inside and look on the thing that has everyones names and suite numbers on it. My doctor is no where to be found.

Two of my hot buttons are being lost and looking stupid in public, being on stage doesn't count. I start turning red because I was embarrassed and lost. I call the wife and she tells me they are on the ground floor and their office is G90.

At this point I had to poop. I pooped. After pooping I walk in the direction my wife said they "should" be located. Not there, so I have to do my third least favorite thing, call someone I don't know and ask for help. After explaining my situation for a bit the receptionist finally tells me I'm in the wrong building. I'm 1000% sure this must happen all the time, but it was like pulling teeth to get info out of her, pun fulling intentional, almost a little to intentional. Not only was I socially awkwarding out, but I started getting a headache because I hadn't had any coffee yet.

The building I sought was next door, so instead of driving there I walked. I find the office, I was technically early, but my confusion had made me 4 minutes late, which isn't that bad for me. They give me the clipboard to fill out, but before I even sign my name, the nurse asks me to come in. She sits me down and says I can fill out the stuff while I wait for the doc. I start to fill it out again and the doc immediately walks in.

He's an older man, but very comforting looking. He sees that I'm filling out the forms and says he'll go finish his coffee while I finish. My head is pounding because of lack of caffeine, so his comments make me want a cup of joe even more.

He slaps on the gloves and starts poking around in my head. He reaches in and yanks the filling off. A cloud of green toxic smoke rises out of my mouth, forms into a skull and cross bones, then kills the plant that was in the room. I think it was a plastic plant which is even more impressive. The smell coming from my, now exposed, stinky tooth was overpowering. Either the doc has no sense of smell, or he is just used to smelling funky breath all day. He didn't reacted to the smell in the least. His face didn't melt off so I relaxed into my chair.

The x-rays showed no sign of decay in the gums. He says he's pretty sure the nerve is dead, so there may be a root canal in my future. Hooray! He said he's just going to reattatch the old cap. He asks me if I floss every night and I told him no. I would hope after 30 odd years of being a dentist and hearing "no" to that question from practically everyone that he might have built up a thick skin by now. I felt like my no answer really hurt is feelings and he lost a little respect for me.

I open my mouth to have the used merchandise reapplied. The nurse hands the doc what I think is the quick drying cement they use on teeth. As she hands it to him some of it flicks into my eye. Internally I start to flip the fuck out. "I'm blind! My eye is fucked now, I'm going to loose my eye!", I'm thinking. I politely and calmly inform the doc that some of that stuff went into my eye. He tells me to wash it out in the spit sink. No one is panicking, so I start to relax a bit. It turns out not to be cement, but I never really found out what it was. For the first couple of minutes as he is placing my tooth back in, my right eye is watering. The doc dabs my tears and I felt like we bounded, pun intended again.

We finish up and I'm sent on my merry way. Not without setting up an appointment for a teeth cleaning for the following Monday at 7 freaking 45 am! Nothing sucks more than getting your teeth cleaned, unless you are getting them cleaned before the freaking sun has even risen.

On the way back to work I got lost and had to call my buddy Todd to talk me back into safer territory.

Now that stink tooth is fixed, I'm going to force my wife to kiss the hell out of my mouth hole all weekend. All she has a problem with now is my terrible personality, my grotesque appearance and my unending supply of back hair.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Anyone speak Russian?

At least I think that's what language this is in. At any rate, here's the first half of one of my episodes of Robotboy entitled "Up a Tree". I got all butterfly-ee when I saw my name.

I am super excited to see it in English on the 26th!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Who cares if it didn't make any money

Something awesome happened to me this weekend. Let me rephrase that: Something that most of my friends and a very specific group of fans across the country would think was awesome happened to me this weekend.

I was obsessively compulsively checking my e-mail at home Saturday afternoon, when I got a message from someone I didn't know. I opened it up and read it to myself, moving my lips along to every word, because that's how I roll. The message started by asking me if I had heard of the show Mystery Science Theater 3000. That's like asking me if I had ever heard of food. Of course I had and I'm a huge fan of that show. The message continued with the person telling me they were the husband of the woman that played Pearl Forrester on the show toward the end of it's run. The message concluded with his telling me that he and his wife had been given a copy of the Aqua Rangers and loved it. He said we did a great job and hoped we were doing more stuff.

I was totally on cloud nine. To be told by someone, whose work you love and admire, unprompted, that they loved something you created, really threw me for a loop. Making videos like the Aqua Rangers can really start to take it's toll after a while. It's a pretty thankless task. You pour your heart and soul into something for months and then it doesn't seem to do anything. It makes you doubt your abilities and want to give up. Then out of the blue you get a complement from someone you respect and it makes it all worthwhile. I don't need fame or fortune for my efforts, I just want to know people have enjoyed something I worked on. It would be nice to receive compensation for all the hard work, but at the end of the day, just knowing that you have successfully entertained someone is really all you want as a creative person. And the best response you can get is a wholly unprovoked accolade from a person who stands to gain nothing for their remarks and just felt compelled to say thanks.

Don't get me wrong, if any of you rich mother fuckers want to throw some money my way, I'll create the hell out of some shows for you.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Consider my Zombie Dead

I joined face book a while back and got frustrated because it didn't make any sense to me. I couldn't figure out how to navigate within it's walls. None of the buttons ever did the same thing twice. I got mad at the face book. Even after Tom kept telling me face book was way better than My space, I still couldn't bring myself to play by face book's rules.

I finally started to accept friends and write on people's wall. I even started to do the whole zombie thing. I've discovered however that it's pointless to care for my zombie anymore. Everyone is already a zombie so I can't bite anyone, and people that refuse to mess with the whole zombie thing will keep ignoring my sad pleas to be a part of my zombie army. So I'm doomed to have a lone zombie, under the thumb of Heather, whom "turned" me. I wanted to accept Tom's zombie invite, and thought I did, but face book had other ideas. Face book somehow decided I wanted Heather to turn me into a zombie. Wrong Face book, bad face book.

I have managed through diligent fighting and biting and feeding, to get my zombie to level 4, which is called a Bishop in the Church of Zombie. Without anyone accepting my invites, the only way to get big points in the zombie game, I can't get enough points to move higher in the zombie circuit. I'm done. My zombie will continue to rot in my internet close, along with my hotmail account, my g-mail account, and my friendster account.

Internet fads are quickly becoming the forgotten toys of my youth. The things I play with for a while, only to throw in the corner one day and never touch again. I'm sure blogging will soon meet the same lonely fate. Although I have stuck this out for much longer than the rest. I think the reason blogging has had a much stronger hold on me is because it's the only way I can seem to remember stuff that has happened in my life. I have often gone through my blog and re-read them experiencing "eureka" moments. It's like the feeling after someone tells you something you did on a drunken night and you go, "Oh yeah, I kinda remember that."

I'm starting to put stuff together for the Night-OH-Cabaret's 10th anniversary show that will probably happen sometime in September. I have been sort of blah about the show for the past couple of months. I think it's because when we do the show it is so much fun and such a great show, that I get upset when we keep having a mediocre turnout. We pour so much time and energy into the show and trying to get the word out and at the end of the day it all seems pointless.

Me and Derek have been talking about this show and I have really started to get excited again. This show's going to be fucking amazing. We are going to really blow it up come hell or high water. At any rate I am pretty jazzed about the possibilities that this show will produce. I'll hit all three of you up to come out the closer we get to the date.

Sorry this post was so boring Mom.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


I just noticed that Cartoon Network is finally airing the 2nd season of the show called Robotboy. Why do I care you ask? Weeeeeeeell, because I wrote 4 episodes of this season that's why. It was my first professional writing gig, and it's awesome to finally get to see how badly they changed my scripts. I wrote the episodes over a year ago, so it's been a long time coming.

My first episode will air on Saturday April 26th at 11:30 a.m. EST on Cartoon Network. Please check your local listings. I haven't seen any of the episodes I wrote so this will be a kick in the ass. Unless it sucks, in which case it will be a kick in the ass.

The name of my episode is "Up a Tree". The titles I gave the other three were "Gusto" "Monster Truck Mash" and "Me and My Homebots". I'm not sure if that's what they will be called or if they will have new titles.

It's going to be awesome to see a script I wrote come to life on the TV. It's nice to write something, get paid, then sit back while other people make it. I've always had to bust my ass writing, producing, paying for, directing, editing, animating, shooting, starring, and pretty much everything else on my films.

I wanted to send a shout out to my good friend and one hell of a guy Bob Camp. He directed the entire season and he helped get me the gig. He's an awesome guy and so very talented. Thanks Bob, I love ya!

Thursday, April 10, 2008


My buddy Mike wants me to help out with the Burlesque show that he runs this coming Friday(04-18-08). I'll be back stage helpng with props, costumes, and other menial tasks. The best part is I might be able to be in the show as a new character. I haven't 100% developed the character yet, but I think it will be a dumb, new york sounding, janitor.

I will hang out before the show and screw with people as they enter, then possibly interact with the female host of the show. It should be fun, and by all means come out and catch the show if you're in Atlanta next weekend. I saw the show a couple weeks ago and it really is a lot of fun. Here's a LINK to it.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Baby's First Flash

Wholly shit! Flash plus Wacom, plus free time equals AWESOME!

Had I known flash was actually not as hard to use as I had always been told, and had I been introduced to a Wacom tablet 3 years ago, I could have animated an entire feature film by now.

I opened flash today at work and started dicking around with it for the first time ever. Within 5 minutes I made this:
first flash movie

Granted it ain't Disney, I was blown away at how easy it is to use. I'm going to try and keep working with it over the next couple of days and learn all the ins and outs. I'm super jazzed.

Quick Fact #456

When talking about movies, it's officially no longer humorous or relevant to place the phrase "2: Electric Boogaloo" after the title of a movie in an attempt to elicit laughter. Please erase this seemingly involuntary bit from your repituare to alleviate any further embarrassment.

Good day.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Shot Gun Blast

This is a shot gun blog, so it's a little all over the place. If you can't take several random topics being shot at you all at once please avert your gaze.

It's rainy and gross outside today. Nancy had to work all day today, so that means I have to motivate myself to be productive. I'm working on some pitch materials for a show that I have to hand in character descriptions for on Monday. It's more taxing than I thought it was going to be, plus the internet keeps making me look at it.

It's a show idea of mine that I've been kicking around in my head for a long time. I'm being asked to change the focus of the show idea, which is fine. At this stage I just want to get something going, and I don't mind tweaking it to appease the anonymous faceless execs that will be making the big decisions. I've got about 14 character paragraphs written, but I want to give them about 30 possible characters. I'm sure they'll whittle those down, so I want to give them plenty to work with.

This blog is yet another diversion to keep me away from actually doing what I'm supposed to be doing. If you're reading this than you're aiding in my non productivity and should be ashamed of yourself.

I had a good idea to change one of my movie scripts and to make it more grounded. It would mean reworking the entire script, but that's fine to improve it. The script as it is right now isn't very good to begin with.

I want to know if anyone out there besides Sam, my mom, the Brazilian Spamming Cellular Phone Robot, and Dicky read my stupid ass blog. I'm incredibly needy so please feed the narcissistic beast that lives inside me and leave me a comment if you read my blog regularly.

I haven't gotten a chance to perform in a while and I'm getting the urge to do it again. I haven't explored my options in Atlanta for such silliness, but I think there are several open mike type shows going on in town. I might drop in and unleash Olaf on Atlanta's ass! Take that Atlanta!

That's it for now, I should get back to work. Also I'm not wearing pants.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Lame Post

Not a whole lot going on right now guys. I did get pulled over today for running a yellow light that turned red way to soon. I didn't get a ticket, but I did get told I needed to get a Georgia license by next month. What a pain in the ass that's going to be.

For those that were asking, the name of the band I did the music video for is Year Long Disaster. It's officially 100% done at this point. It will be watchable in the near future on the interweb somewhere. The band is touring Europe with Velvet Revolver. I was told by Matt that the band showed the video to Slash and he liked it. I don't know how he was able to see the TV through his hair but it's cool nonetheless.

I can't tell you guys what happened yet, so don't ask, although I know you will, (that's triple reverse psychology) but something happened to me yesterday that I'm still numb about. It was a dream come true for me and I still can't believe it happened. It was one of those things where you feel fine at the time, but afterward it seems like a blur. A situation where you hope you come off cool, but feel like you were acting like a complete idiot the whole time. If you're sending happy thoughts to someone who's in the hospital or has fallen on hard times, please don't waste them on me, but if you have any spare ones laying around shoot them my way. When it's at a point I can talk about it I will. I just wanted to get some of this nervous energy out of me by posting a tad bit about it, even though I didn't post anything really. I mean this entire paragraph is basically useless as far as the transfer of information is concerned. Bottom line, fingers crossed everyone.

Finally I wanted to send a big shout out to the Brazilian Spamming Cellular Phone Robot that left me a comment on the previous blog. Me and the Spamming Robot go way back to high school days. Big ups broseph! Keep on spamming.