Sheepless in Seattle

After checking out downtown Seattle and grabbing a bite at a Cajun restaurant, (Seattle is known for it's amazing Cajun cuisine) we drove back to Aaron's new house to get some sleep. At this point, Nancy and me have been up for 20 hours. Aaron later told me that my eyes were totally bloodshot and I had a silly grin on my face all evening that wouldn't go away.

Here is our lovely host on his lovely staircase. Lovely.



The next day it was raining, which I hear is very unusual for this part of the country. We decided to check out some indoor activities until the rain let up. We went to the SAM, Seattle Art Museum. Parking was a bitch; it took us forever to find a weight-baring stud to hang the car from.



We made some friends in the kiddy area, molested them, and then played with their puppets.



You weren't supposed to take pictures in the museum. Here is a picture of one of the exhibits. It was a robe made of dog tags. Somewhere there are thousands of dogs looking for their tags.



The rain stopped and so Aaron took us to this park called the Gasworks. I told Nancy, "With me AND Aaron in the same place, every where we go is the Gasworks." She was not amused. Here is a big rusty thing that was at the park. I kept waiting to get shot by a character from a post-apocalyptic first person shooter.



Aaron told us we weren't supposed to eat the dirt at the park because it was radioactive, but by that time I already had two handfuls swallowed.



Then it was time for hugs all around.





Here I am proudly standing atop an ol' Ingersoll-Rand machine. Remember the old Ingersoll-Rand machines from when you were a kid? Ah, memories.



There must have been a shift in the space-time continuum, because some medieval knights showed up. Did I say shift in the space-time continuum? I meant a shift in the nerd-dork continuum.



Next we went to the docks and saw a neighborhood completely made up of boats that were actually houses.



Here are some of the cuter ones. I thought it would be totally awesome to live in one of these when Nancy and I retired. Then I realized that it would, in fact, suck every dick in the world to live in one of these tiny floating barnacle covered sinkable stupid boxes.




Next Aaron and me raped the shit out of whatever this thing is.



OK, I gotta go to bed, more vacation soon.

I'M BAAAAAAAACK!

Holy Crap that was a long vacation!

We had an absolute blast, I want to send a big thanks to all of my dear friends that let us crash at their place, drove us around, showed us cool stuff that we never would have found on our own, and generally put up with us. Thanks guys, you made this trip more than worth it.

I took a lot of pictures. 980 to be precise. Each picture was awesome and could win me several awards in photography, however I have decided to only post the cream of the crop. Believe me, when it's ALL cream it's hard to pick the creamiest.

I'm going to break the trip up into a blog for each place we stayed. Those places would be:

Seattle
San Francisco
Sunnyvale
Monterrey
San Simeon
Los Angeles

Today we will start with Seattle. I can't just jump right into Seattle, because getting there was such a nightmare. I have decided that LaGuardia, at one point, had a program where they hired a mentally challenged person to work there. Over the years they entirely took over the airport. LGA is by far the worst run piece of shit airport in all of these United States. I've never had a pleasant experience leaving New York. I totally know what Snake Plissken felt like.

My wife said it's because it's a very small airport, and they get a shit load of traffic. I'm no civil engineer, but it seems almost painfully obvious that maybe they need to expand the size of this airport. I'm also not a statistics taking person, but I would wager that New York is one of the most visited cities in the world. Nick get mad at airport ARRRRRRRGH!

Our flight was at 6:45, which meant we had to get up at 5 am. I don't even think God gets up that early. We finally got to the airport only to have to wait in the longest, most ill constructed line I've ever seen. It honestly seemed like this was the first time they have ever had people at the airport. A sassy black woman with a walkie talkie was yelling at everyone to change the shape of the line, as if it was our job to know exactly how to fit over 200 people in a space not constructed to hold over 200 people.

We finally made it through the long ass security line, as our tummies grumbled, yearning for high cholesterol laden, hastily prepared, heart attack enducing breakfast foods. We rounded the corner only to be greeted by the 2nd longest, most ill conceived line ever. The line in front of the Burger King counter. Here's one of the math problems on the Burger King application form:

50 people in line + three registers = only use one register.

It took 15 minutes to get through 10 people in line. Again, I can't say enough how it seemed like it was the first time they had ever had people in the airport. We finally received our breakfast sandwiches and walked to the gate, only to be informed that our flight was very delayed. That of course screwed-up our connecting flight. I wasn't that upset because I thought they would just put us on the next flight out in Indianapolis. Nancy has traveled more than me so she was not as calm. She immediately got on the cell phone and tried to track down a number for Orbitz.



I immediately made fun of her, and pretended to talk on my cell phone. She was not very happy with me at this point in the trip.



I convinced her that we needed to talk to the gate attendee, so we waited in another line. Luckily we got the one "regular" person that all the retarded airport workers are required to hire. She was fucking awesome. We said maybe three words to her and she started maddly typing on her computer for what seemed like 10 minutes. She got us on another flight to Minneapolis, which I kept called Mindianapolis, because my brain wasn't working that early.

But the best part was she put us in first class for the second flight. Nancy had never flown first class and she was jazzed. We barely made that connecting flight, but sure enough we were in first class. Free hot food and as much booze as you could hold down. Here I am enjoying my hot sandwich.



The clouds are even prettier in first class.



We finally arrived in Seattle, only 4 hours late. My really good buddy Aaron, who let us stay with him, met us at the airport. He was surprised to see how fat I had gotten.



Aaron drove us straight to the seaport to check out the guys that throw fish around. Unfortunately, or fortunately, when we got there all the dudes that throw fish around had packed it all up and when home, to dream of throwing fish around another day. We weren't too upset about missing it, mainly because I didn't want some dude to throw a fish at me.



The first thing me and the wife did was buy a cup of coffee, because we were in Seattle, and why do anything original when you travel. We went to a place called Tully's, which is apparently the main Starbucks competitor in Seattle. The coffee was awesome. Here is a picture of Nancy drinking her hot cup of Tully's coffee in front of the first Starbucks. Suck on that Mr. Starbuck!



Look at the sadness in his eyes.



I can't remember what this thing was called...



No truffles in there buddy!



OK I have to stop for a while. I'll finish Seattle tomorrow. It's good to be home, but I'd rather be on vacation.

California here I come!

We leave tomorrow for our vacation! We are going to fly into Seattle and stay two nights with one of my dearest friends, Aaron. Unfortunately his wife is going to be in Florida all weekend so we won't be able to see her. She's awesome as well. From there we are renting a car and driving down the coast to LA, making pit stops here and there to visit friends and relatives. Please do not rob our apartment while we are gone. We're just leaving our big pile of money right out in the open on our coffee table, but don't tell any robbers. Luckily we have all our hamburgers locked away in our safe, so that darn hamburgaler can't get to them.

I thought of a great parody to that show, So You Think You Can Dance, but I won't have the time to make it before it's irrelevant, so I'm going to tell you guys my idea. The show would be called "So You Think You Can Perform Open Heart Triple By-Pass Surgery". It writes itself.

I also wanted to do a parody of it called, "So you're under the impression that you might be able to accomplish whatever it is this show's about?" or maybe, "So you think you can jump start your stalling B-list celebrity career."

I have been putting together a "Show Bible" for an animated show I want to pitch for the past 3 days. It's a show idea I feel very strongly about and it has been a lot of work putting it together. Hopefully I will get to pitch it around to a couple of places before it's all said and done.

I'll try to post some bloggery while we're on vaca, but I can't promise anything. You'll be fine though, if it gets too tough you can just read some of my old blog entries, they're all pretty timeless.

Please post any suggestions for restaurants or places of interest along the California cost line.

Miss ya'll already.

SAVE THE DATE BITCHES!

I got a date for my one-man show! No silly, not someone to go with me, a calendar date.

It's one night only so start canceling that visit to your sick grandmother's deathbed and make a reservation TODAY!

It will be on SEPTEMBR 5th, at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. The theater is located at 307 West 26th Street in New York City. I am coupled with another show that I don't know anything about. Please call this number and reserve a seat 212-366-9176. Be sure to tell them you are reserving a seat for Nick Gibbons' show.

The whole shebang starts at 6:30pm, but I go up second so I should be hitting the stage around 7pm. Feel free to miss the first show, just be there for my show please.

This will be the first time I've performed this show so it will at least be funny to watch me go blank and forget my lines. I'm still tweaking the script so I'm a tad stressed out about learning everything and getting all of it ready, considering I will be in Seattle/California for 12 days between now and then. Pray for me, unless you're atheist, than just stand there and don't do anything.



I have an improv show tomorrow night as well at 9:30 pm at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, so If you can't make the one man show, please come out tomorrow and see me perform some good old fashioned improv, the way grandpa used to do when he forgot to take his dementia medication.

Hey EX-DNA-ers!

You all remember the delicious cakes and cookies that my sainted mother would bring into the office right? Well she's going on a "60 mile walk for breast cancer". I asked her about it and the walk isn't pro-breast cancer as the title might imply. At any rate, she is supposed to raise 1200 dollars by October. I think she is at 800 bucks already from family members.

If you ever had a piece of her cake or one of her cookies, believe me when I tell you have tasted love, because that's the main ingredient she puts in all her baked goods. Please help her out and donate a little cash to her walk. She would do the same for you.

Thanks.

Copy and paste this link into a browser window, then type in Teresa Gibbons, and donate until it hurts!

http://07.the3day.org/faf/search/searchParticipants.asp?ievent=202300

Nice Pair

I can finally make those mouse earrings. That’s right, I caught the other mice's friend. This was a little more unsettling than the last one, because this little guy was able to move the mousetrap about a foot from where it got him before he went to mouse heaven. I told Nancy that it was crawling around half in a mouse trap. She then told me about her friend who caught a mouse in a mouse trap and it crawled all the way across the room and got halfway back into it's hole before it finally expired. It's like those over the top action movies where some dude is half dead and he's still able to muster all his strength to kill all the bad guys. These mice are like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, only people are the terrorists, and the mice have hair. Although, oddly enough, this mouse did have a shaved head.

Speaking of action movies, I had never seen any of the Bourne movies, and Nancy kept telling me they were really good. If my wife is actively taking steps to get me to watch a movie not containing a hoop skirt or the name Jane Austin in the title, I'm there! We bought the first two on DVD this week and watched them, and I have to say, those freaking movies are great! I love me some Bourne. This might sound gay, but I would totally have gay sex with Jason Bourne. At any rate, we went to see the third installment in the series Sunday, again I must say these freaking movies are great. After watching all of them back to back, I have come to a realization that I could watch a new Bourne movie every day and love it just as much. Good stuff.

I have decided that people suck and are rude for the most part, myself included. I sort of thought this anyway, but sitting in a theater, people watching, just cements how inconsiderate people can be. There were no less than 6 separate incidents that occurred while me and the wife sat in the theater, that it made me loose faith in humanity. It's OK alien races, go ahead and destroy the planet, nothing really worth salvaging down here. Hey God, looking at my watch here, isn't it about time for that revelation thing you keep making noise about?

I have three things to say to EVERYONE in the world about the movies.

1. If a movie starts at 8pm DO NOT SHOW UP AT 8:15pm and expect to get a good seat. You are an idiot. Why is it so important to sit right next to the person you came with, are you planning on working out all those issues that have been keeping you so distant in your relationship during the movie? No! You're going to sit there and not talk or look at that person for the next 2 hours, suck it up and grab that single seat bitch.
2. You turned your phone off, thanks, but stop fucking opening it! That little incandescent screen is a fucking lighthouse beacon when it's opened inside of a dark room, asshole. If you’re that concerned about what time it is, go to your fucking apartment and sit your short attention spanned ass in front of your computer and watch 2 minute clips of dudes hitting themselves in the nuts on You Tube.
3. If you take a 5 year old to "Saw 3", you're a bad person and should have your "human" I.D. card taken away. Nothing says good parenting like subjecting a child at heir most impressionable years to filthy language, graphic violence, and sex.

There are more, but I'm just getting angrier, I have to do some yoga and center my Chi.

Sort of Finished

I "finished" my screenplay last night. It clocked in at 80 pages, and with movie scripts you figure about a minute a page. That puts this baby at around and hour and 20 minutes, perfect for a Rom-Com.

Unfortunately, I downloaded a free sample of the screen writing software Final Draft, and when I plopped it into that, the thing shrank to 75 pages. Not acceptable. I knew there would be a lot to do to get this thing in shape, but 18 or so more pages sucks. I did finish the thing a week before my self-imposed deadline, which is good, so I have a week to pad this thing with a subplot or character development. I'm thinking I might go the character development route. Get to know the two main characters a little better.

Only a week before the big California vacation. We are driving down the coast of Cali for a week from Seattle to L.A. in 12 days. We have it all planned out and it seems like it's going to be a great trip. We sprang for a GPS in the rental car, which will be nice and save us some time. I hope it's one that you can change the accent on. I want to be told how to get places by an Australian.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!!!!!

Sorry

Just wanted to say sorry for being so mean in my last blog and saying "Fuck you if you don't like They Might be Giants". That was harsh, abrasive and uncalled for, unless of course you don't like They Might be Giants, in which case you can just go fuck yourself.