Hello baby, goodbye sleep

Where have I been? How dare I disappear for so long without even leaving a note or having the common decency to give you a call to let you know I was ok? I know a mere apology won't suffice. I can however account for at least nine months of my absence to this:

Meet Virginia "Ginny" Noelle Gibbons, the newest member of our running crew. She joined the Gibbons gang on Dec. 27th 2011, take that Uncle Sam! She weighed in at a hefty 6lbs 10oz's. She's only been here for 6 days and already we like a lot of the same things, such as, eating, sleeping, pooping, and most importantly boobs.

Like in the wild Nancy's first instinct was to eat her young.

But after an hour of some pretty tense negotiations, we were able to talk her out of it.

For the two of you that read my blog, and the one of you two that cares, here's more or less how it all went down.

No matter how much I tried talking her out of it, at around 1am Dec 27th Nancy went into labor. At 4:00am the contractions were close enough together to warrent taking a ride to the hospital. It was pouring rain and the contractions were getting more abundant. I wanted to take a taxi and have the baby in the back seat, like on TV, that way we could save all that money on medical expenses. Nancy insisted I drive. I used the drive to the hospital to force Nancy into choosing a name for the baby, I knew that in her stressed state, she would be more likely to settle on one of the names on the very tiny list we had made that week. My hunch paid off and we had the named locked in before we got to the hospital. At 4:30am we arrived and checked into our labor/delivery room. We were going to try natural child birth, the way the Marquis De Sade intended, especially since the pain and frequency of the contractions made it seem like the baby was due any minute. We thought for sure we were at 7 to 8cm. (FYI, 10cm is what you need). Then the RN told us we were just at 2cm. After a couple more contractions, I can only assume were terrible, and an open dialog that involved a lot of crying and begging, mostly from me, we decided to administer the epidural.

I'd like to stop here for a second and send a personal thank you to Mr. Epidural for inventing the single most amazing procedure in all of mankind. Sure the wheel is OK and fire is great and all, but the epidural is without a doubt the most useful and impressive discovery in all of time itself. You people with kids know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

After the spine tap started to work it's magic, Nancy was her less intense self again, and we pretty much just hung out shooting the shit for the next 10 hours. Then at 4:30pm it was go time, 10cm dilated and ready to rock. The room came to life with nurses running around and doctors checking in. Each contraction was met with a chorus of chants and cheers to push, breath, and squeeze. I think at one point one of the nurses even had pom poms, a rainbow afro wig, and a sign that said "John 3:16".

After 2 hours of pushing and lots of stuff I can never un-see, our little bundle of joy made her triumphant entrance into the outside world. I got to cut the cord, which I guess means I'm a doctor now, right? We hung out with the baby for a little bit and were then moved to our recovery room. They keep you for 2 nights so I got to sleep on this:

It was like something out of of the Ikea rejected design files. I felt like I was sleeping in the front seat of a 1970's van. We found out the worst part about having a baby is eating the hospital food. It was slightly better than a high school cafeteria and a little worse than an all you can eat Sizzler's last week before the health inspector closes it down.

The baby did good on all her baby tests and they sent us on our way. They forgot to tell us what to do with her after we left the hospital, but we've seen all 4 seasons of Jon and Kate plus 8 so we should be fine. I'm picking out my Ed Hardy shirt tomorrow.

We were a little worried when they baby did this:

But after close inspection we couldn't find any numbers on her head. I guess she just likes to rock.

We are all home and doing just fine now. The baby wanted me to let you know that she is registered at Target and Walmart.

I'll try and pop in here from time to time with musings on fatherhood and other silly things. Thanks and sorry for the long hiatus.

THUMBS UP

Hi guy and gal. I entered a contest and now I need 150 thumbs up. That's where you come in. Please click HERE and watch my movie pitch, then give it a thumbs up.

Free hugs for everyone that does it.

Thanks.

Nick and Joe

A long time ago I had an idea to make a cop drama about two buddy cops. One day one of the cops is killed and his soul inhabits a coffee pot. This all stemmed from me noticing that if you press the lid open and shut on my coffee pot it was like a puppet.

Recently a friend of mine asked me to make a short film with a puppet theme and the coffee pot idea popped back into my consciousness. Now since I had the original idea years ago I have made The FNGR, The Evener, and Rob Boss' Death Stroke. I thought it best to step away from the gritty cop thing for a while. I ruminated more and more about what to do with this coffee pot idea and decided to take my first real run at a sit-com style show. I have a large aversion to roommate driven fodder, but this seemed different enough for me to change my views. I crapped out a script and got to work.

I asked my Dad's Garage improv buddies Rueben and Eve to lend their pretty little faces to the characters. I wanted an old school animated intro and song so I begged my friend Mike Geier to help me with the music while I doodled some terrible drawings. Please enjoy the fruits of my labor:

The Carpenters (not the band)

We've needed a bed in the guest bedroom/computer room for a while, but a futon was way to dirty hippie/college student and a full sized bed would've taken up way to much room. A Murphy bed would solve all our problems. After a little research we decided to try and build one ourselves.

We bought a kit off of Amazon for 250 bucks that came with the hardware, instructions, and a DVD. It was going to be a pretty involved project, but we were under the assumption that we were up for the task. At the last minute I had to work late the night we had decided to get the wood from Home Depot. We didn't make it there until 8:55pm. They close at 10pm. We had an hour to rent a truck, load it full of heavy wood, drive it home, unload it, and drive it back. We made it with 10 minutes to spare. Speed hauling should be the next Fast and the Furious plot line.

It took us three weekends to finish the damn thing. Murphy's Law is pretty bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to his bed. If your running out of things to argue with your wife about, might i suggest building a Murphy bed together.

Now we have a place for weary travelers to lay their heads when they stay with us. Please enjoy the video below, it's mainly for my parents, but you can watch it too, just keep in mind there are no fart jokes or off color humor, just bed building.

Dig It Baby

Sorry, long time no blog.

Work at the ol' toon factory has been relentless as of late. A lot of really cool stuff going on that I can't talk about. I've also been improvising at Dad's Garage a bunch. Not to mention that me and Nancy have been building a murphy bed for our guest/computer room at the house. Here is a bit of advice, don't ever build a murphy bed under and circumstances, ever. Although I have learned a valuable lesson, if you are running out of things to argue about, build a murphy bed.

We are almost done with it and I will be posting a video of the process soon for future generations to learn from.

I made a video of the dog again, she keeps digging crap up in the yard:

Faced Book

So I'm having one of those angry depressed moments in my life/career. I'm trying my damndest to get a show pilot bought. It's no secret, I started a facebook page a blog and told everyone I know about it. Toymageddon is the show if you haven't guessed by now.

Here's my dilemma. I have over 800 "friends" on the magical facebook. I have shared the Toymageddon facebook page several times and pleaded with people to "like" the page. It literally takes one click of the mouse button and does nothing else but sit on your page somewhere collecting dust. Of my 800 "friends", 60 have "liked" it. What the hell? That's a pretty shitty return.

I hate to sound like a baby, but I'm thinking of dumping all the "friends" that can't give me at least one click of the mouse. What are they all doing for me anyway? I'm not getting a bigger room in heaven because i have a bunch of "friends" on facebook. I hope not at least.

I know of the 60 "friends" that "liked" the Toymageddon page, only like 2 of you read my blog, but please let me know what you think I should do. Should I make one more enigmatic plea for acceptance then bring the hammer down or just not give a shit? Let me know what you think in the comments below. Love you.

This Video's Got Ballz!

It's been a while, mainly because we've actually been busy at work, but we finally made a fresh new facebook video for my office. Below is said video, please enjoy.

The FNGR bitch!

I have some terrible news friends. After a day of shooting and a day of editing, the latest chapter and complete retooling of the epic tale involving an alcoholic ex-astronaut who had his middle finger replaced by a talking bionic finger did not gain acceptance into the live screening of the coveted and highly esteemed Channel 101. It is with a heavy heart that I now share with you Dallas Houston's newest hobby, solving crimes in the evening, with the reboot of the beloved FNGR series entitled, The F.N.G.R.: Evenings.

Let me know in the comments section if you think the secret panel of Channel 101 judges was right or not. I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

Ricky Gervais Debate 2011

I've been reading all the crap that the media has been vomiting all over the web-o-sphere about wether or not Ricky Gervais crossed the line with his hosting of the Golden Globes. I watched his monolog and a couple of his introductions to get me up to speed. The only thing he did that I can tell is expose how incredibly inane and retarded anyone is who works for the media. Seriously? Cross the line? A joke about Hugh Heffner being old and marrying a young girl is over the line?

I love Ricky Gervais. I think he's an incredibly smart, shrewd and funny man. He's help create some of the best comedy ANYWHERE for the past 10 years. He makes me laugh, he makes himself laugh more I think, but in the process he makes me laugh. I don't know if anyone out there knows this, and I might be about to blow your mind inside out, but... comedy... is... subjective.

WAHHHHHHHHH?!?

You mean to tell us Nick, that each person has a different sense of humor. That every individual was raised in their own bubble, having different values and experiences that shaped them into a wholly original being? WOW! You just broke new ground in human understanding.

You're welcome.

Here is my take on his jokes. I thought they were just OK. Nothing spectacular. Definitely not crossing any lines. If anything they were basic A to B jokes. A. So and so is fat. B. so and so has to get building permit to put on make up.

I watch a lot of comedy. A LOT. More than the average person. I have to, I write and perform comedy. I've learned my craft from all the brave insecure soles that came before me. Ricky Gervais's monolog was just a simple night show monolog. He did nothing new or push any boundaries, he just made simple jokes up about people that everyone knows. It's not an insult if EVERYONE in the audience thinks the same thing.

Let me break it down:

Hugh Heffner is old and marries young woman. CHECK
Charlie Sheen has a substance abuse problem. CHECK
Robert Downy Jr. HAD a substance abuse problem. CHECK
Bruce Willis' ex-wife is married to a guy as old as his daughters. CHECK
The Tourist was a bad movie. CHECK

Nothing he talked about was new or shocking to anyone. He said things that Conan, Letterman and Kimmell say EVERY night of the week.

To summarize,
1. Did he cross the line, no,
2. Were his jokes main streamy, yes.
3. Was he entertaining, definitely.
4. Should he do it again? If he causes as much of a stink, HELL YES!

I would love to hear what you think in my comments section, but no one reads my blog so I won't hold my breath.

This is for my parents

Nancy and I drove to Dallas last week to spend Christmas with my side of the family. We decided to board Chewy because last year she peed on one of my grandmothers beds, right in front of us and Grandma. That's balls.

My mom and dad bought a stocking full of dog toys for Chewy, but since she was locked up in dog prison in Atlanta, my parents couldn't enjoy watching her destroy their gift. We got home safe and sound. I decided to make a very special holiday video for my parents of Chewy enjoying one of the phallic shaped rubber bones. Don't watch this if your not my parents. Enjoy(that enjoy was only meant for my parents).

Whatcha Chewing on There?

Seasons Work Video

I made another video fro my office's facebook page. It turned out really cute, check it out below.

I made something for you

Hope everyone's holidays are going fantasmagormically magnanimoustastic! I made this just for you!

Also I went ahead and made a gif of it, please steal it and use it for all your iChat pleasure.

Whats gourd for the goose...

Happy Halloween guys, it's time for the annual pumpkin update. As always mines on the left and Nancy's is on the right.

There's just something magical about plunging a large sharp knife into something, pulling out it's guts, then carving shapes onto it, without having to bleach the house and bury evidence.

That band from the 1990s LIVE is touring right now, so the radio keeps shoving their one song in my ear holes. The other morning while my ears were being force feed their sonic assualt entitled "Pain Lies by the Riverside", I made a dumb joke. I then felt compelled to take way to much time out of my day and conjure this joke into a tangible form. Please enjoy:

That's all I gots for you little ghouls and boils out there today, don't forget to wear reflective clothing and look out for razor blades in your apples.

Inappropriate day

I don't have a lot of time to write anything of any merrit so I'm just going to post a horribly inappropriate picture I drew for a fake animated show I want to not make. It's pretty self explanatory.

Happiest Puke on Earth

We just got back from Disney World and boy is my wallet tired. I want to send a big shout out and fist bump to my buddy Randy and his lady Brecken, who made the trip possible. Brecken worked at Disney over the summer and thus had the ability to get us all into the parks free for 3 days AND half off our hotel room. Without that amazing deal we would have had to take out a second mortgage just to buy lunch in the parks.

Our trip was framed by vomit. The night before we left Chewy threw up on the couch, and our last day in the parks we witnessed no less than 5 throw up related events. As we pulled into the parking lot of the Animal Kingdom park, and walked toward the entrance, there was a little Asian girl puking on the sidewalk. She hadn't even made it to the park yet. I'm was affraid her head might explode if she actually got inside. On our way to the first ride we had to avoid stepping in a large pile of vomit waiting to be saw dusted. At lunch a little girl was hurling all over her table. The small pieces of her breakfast that now stained the front of pink T-shirt that read "princess" detracted slightly from her cuteness. Later in the day we had to avoid slipping in yet another large puddle of regurgitated park food. Finally, after a long day of park hopping, we were walking the last stretch of road to our hotel room, when we heard a child behind us start coughing, followed by the unmistakable sound of a stomach angrily tossing it's contents onto the ground. It's a Small Hurl After All.

We had tons of fun and I can't wait to go back.

I started tinkering around with the intro to the show I'm pitching. I wanted to do an animated animatic, which is just a storyboard with very limited movement. I did the very first shot, and am waiting on artwork for the rest, but I was so excited I just threw some words up where the storyboard panels will go. It ain't much, but it makes me smile:

Wheels on my career go round and round

I have been working on a script or two for a show I want to pitch around. It's a great concept and wide open for some terrific parody of all your favorite 1980's toys and cartoons based on toys. I'm not going to tell ya too much, I just wanted to post the awesome picture my good buddy Todd Redner drew for me.

What I need is someone with clout to attach themselves to this project so I can get traction. I have no problem getting pitch meetings, but the industry is such that no matter how good your show might be, unless you have someone like Andy Dick attached, you won't get a second look.

So where my famous peeps? Lets get to show creatin'!

Here are the networks this show is good for, just in case you stumbled on this and you work for them,
Adult Swim
Spike
FX
SyFy
IFC
G4
Comedy Central
Mtv
and of course Lifetime for Women

SHOCKTOBER!

Me and the wife got super excited about halloween and decorated our house before october even got here. If you're super brave you can watch the video of the outcome below:

I hope you didn't faint from fright after watching that video. I did warn you.

Here is a video to cleanse your palette after the last one. It's another video I made for my works Facebook page. It turned out super cute to the max.

If you aren't their fan on Facebook please click here, then look at the very top of the screen for a button that says "like" and click that shit super hard! Please leave us some comments and like our videos, I want my boss to keep paying me to write and produce funny videos to entertain my mom. Thanks!

Trim Down

I wanted to trim down. Not my waste line silly, that would require diet and exercise, screw me a whole lot of that crap! I meant my website. After much soul searching I decided to lose the side bar and just have the blog front and center. I think its just simpler and sleeker, I'm sure all 3 people that read my blog are thrilled.

If you really want to see pictures of me, be my friend on facebook.

Not much else going on right now, just wanted to tell you not to freak out when you see that the site looks different. Calm down, everything will be OK. At least until the zombies get here...

UPDATE
I just figured out that by changing what i changed I screwed up a lot of other stuff, so i have to change it back for the time being. Who likes change anyway?

Nick's Impromptu Guide to NY

Last weekend Nancy went to New York to participate in a cancer walk with one of her best friends. I decided to tag along. I hadn't been to the big apple in about two years. Nancy did a lot of research and found out that renting some ones apartment for the weekend was about half as much as getting a hotel room. The only down side is sharing the single bed with the people who live there.

She found a great little studio in the heart of Greenwich Village. Here was the view from our room:

I'm so used to just seeing feet go by our window in New York this confused me.

As I get older my midsection seems to be expanding. I think it may have become self aware, because I very strategically planned my trip around the old restaurants I used to frequent. If you are visiting NY, here are my suggestions for places to eat.

Mexican Radio - Get the Plantain Relleños with beef.
Saigon Grill - Points of Interests: Curry Ga, Goi Cuon Tom, Steamed Crystal Dumplings, La Sa Ga and wash it all down with a Lychee Martini

Two Boots Pizza - Best Slice in the City

Pomodoro Rosso - Our Favorite Italian place in the city, try the Tortelloni Panna E Piselli or the Rigatoni Alla Riicotta.
Katz's Deli - I know this is pretty touristy, but holy crap is it good. Pastrami on Rye, potato salad a beer and you can sleep the rest of the day.


It's difficult because there are only 1 or 2 bars in the city, but if you're vigilant and look very closely you can find a place to grab a beer. One of my favorite places to go is McSorely's.

They only have two beers to choose from, light or dark and they serve you two small glasses when you order one. It's one of the oldest bars in the city and has a pretty hefty lineage. I suggest going there during the day and hanging out for a bit when you need a break from walking around.

My favorite thing to do in the city is to just walk around. It's unlike anything you'll ever experience. The buildings are awe inspiring. The people are more than often confusing as hell. The seemingly endless city sprawl is breathtaking. The sudden unexplainable horrific smells of urine and feces that smack your nose in the face are always new and different.

The best areas to just take it all in are Union Square and just south of Union Square.

Greenwich Village and the docks are great as well.

They just finished this great elevated pathway/park along the lower west side called High Line Park.
Another great part to walk around is SoHo. There's lots of great stores and stuff down there like Kid Robot.

If you've never been to New York City definitely check out Times Square. We avoid it like a Carrot Top show.

We had a blast on the trip and it was good to see a lot of my old friends. I do miss certain aspects of living in the city. Time and distance definitely paint the city in a glowing romantic light. After thinking about it though, I realize that we were staying right in the heart of the city and weren't that worried about the money we were spending on restaurants, because it was a vacation. Living there takes away those tropes. With the chore of riding a crowded subway at rush hour and paying large sums of money for 7 square foot apartment not looming over your head, the city is much more magical.

Before I left for New York, I forced a friend of mine at Radical Axis, Jason Barnes, to draw a caricature of me.

I'm not sure wether to hug him or slug him.

Finally I made another video for the Radical Axis Facebook Page! Please enjoy, and if you aren't a fan yet please click the clicky thing on the page.

Oh yeah, one more thing. If you happened to be an exec at a network looking for a funny, over the top, violent, and irreverent animated show to produce for 18 to 27 year olds thats a cross between Futurama and the Venture Bros. Might I suggest THIS.