Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Blown Off Finger Clean-Up on Ilse 16

Upon entering the supermarket yesterday, my eyes befell a display propped up in front of the main entrance. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief then promptly cheesed my jeans when what I thought was a mirage, turned out to be reality. Right between the greetings cards and the about to go bad, or as the store says "on sale", cantaloupe was a huge box of various fireworks. And not those pussy ass sparklers neither, we talking fully loaded, dangerous, gun powder filled, skin burning, eye loosing, fireworks.

As a red blooded American male, I love blowin' me up some shit. I've been buying fireworks and destroying small toys ever since I was a littler guy. My fondest memories of childhood are visiting my cousin Lance out in east Texas. He lived in a very rural little town called Henderson. Every summer we would go to the little fireworks stand, buy as much as we could afford, and get to esplodin' stuff.

I'm amazed that I still have all my fingers and both eyes. In Texas it's illegal to sell, buy, or explode fireworks in the city limits. When I saw that you could not only buy them in the city limits, but at a freaking chain grocery store, I flipped out. I haven't checked into it, but I'm lead to believe that you can also fire them off in the city limits as well. To me this sounds absolutely retarded. Atlanta's nothing but trees. The city's one burning ember away from fiery destruction. And we're in a freaking drought. How can it be legal to sell and esplode fireworks?

Bottom line, who cares! If you want to see some shit get blown the fuck up, come by my house on the fourth.

1 comment:

strong bad, sam said...

Game Over... u esplode