Saturday, December 27, 2008

FREE NIGHT-OH-CABARET

That's right you cheap ass bastards, you read me correct! A free Night-OH-Cabaret hasn't happened for 10 years. Granted it will be in a dark, dank and tiny as hell bar on Lower Greenville, it'll be free.

This price, however, comes with a caveat. Charging an admission fee shackles the entertainer with a certain responsibility to put on a responsible entertaining show. When the entertainer isn't fettered with this moralistic albatross around their neck, tendencies rear their ugly/beautiful heads to do go out on a limb and try new/insane things.

These events can be frightening/interesting and are definitely worth the price of admission. You never know what might happen when we're given carte blanche to go nuts on a tiny tiny stage.

If you're in Dallas on Sunday December 28th, you owe it to yourself to buy a beer and watch the insanity unfold.

The Cavern Upstairs
1914 Lower Greenville
Sunday
December 28th
10pm
FREE

Monday, December 22, 2008

Gibbons/Crowder Holiday Card 2008

You know you've been waiting to see what the old Gibbons/Crowder camp was going to come up with this year for our holiday card. Will it be us on the moon? Will we be hangin' with Jesus?

This year I wanted to keep it real, what with the economy in the dumps and all. So here it is:

Seriously.

Holy Crap, Silent Crap

Christmas has come early! Man oh man was this one hard to edit. Out of every one I've done so far, this one has definitely been the most difficult to piece together. I wanted to do a holiday one before the finale. Unfortunately my idea had me singing, which isn't my strong suit. It's more of my wet suit.

I new my mom would love a Christmas one as well, she's coo coo for Christmas. Here ya go mom. If anyone else wants to watch and comment, that's OK too.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Monday, December 15, 2008

IT'S HERE!!!!!!

Finally, I can talk about that big news I teased you about so long ago on this very blog. As many of you may know, for the past year I've been doing freelance work for Radical Axis. They're the animation company that produces Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Squid Billies for Adult Swim.

The first thing I ever did for them was this video for Matt Maiellaro:

I sat in a room for a month, animating and editing that video all by myself. This lead to more work at Radical.

While working with Matt one day, I let it slip that I was a writer and a big fan of Aqua Teen. He said I should write an episode. I got to work immediately and three days later I presented him with a finished script. Long story short after co-writing 3 more episodes with my good buddy Craig at Radical, Adult Swim set up a table read. I learned later that this was the first time they had ever had a table read for the show.

It was a dream come true. There I was in a room at Williams Street about to read one of my scripts with the two creators of one of my favorite shows. I sat next to Dave Willis, voice of Meatwad and Carl. We started reading the script. It was so weird to hear Carl and Meatwad speaking the words I wrote right next to me.

After a couple of days we get the news that they selected the first script I had written and they were going to produce it along with 3 new episodes for the next Aqua Teen DVD release. I was stoked out of my mind.

As if that wasn't enough, Radical Axis asked me to write a fake behind the scenes featurette for the upcoming Aqua Teen DVD. Not only would I have a writing credit on an episode appearing on the DVD, but I was going to help produce one of the extras.

I was on cloud nine. I shot a quick test movie of the direction I wanted to go with the fake behind the scenes that weekend and Radical loved it. Here's my test movie:
video
They liked it so much that they asked me to host the thing. Over the next few weeks, we shot the short I wrote and I edited it together. It was a ton of fun and the finished product was damn near as close to what I wanted as anything I've ever done. I have produced a lot of video pieces, and generally they never turn out exactly like I had hoped. This one was 94% right on the money.

I wanted to take a second to thank Craig, Scott, and Brandon for letting me have the chance to do the piece. Their trust and support helped make it a really great and funny short of which we can all be very proud.

The DVD is finally here! It comes out tomorrow (Tuesday Dec, 16th) and I'm so freaking excited I can barely see straight, although that also might be because of all the rum I drank this morning. Not only do I get a writing credit (actually story elements credit, but that's still pretty good), my fat little face is going to be on the DVD for several minutes.

I'd love for you all to go out and pick up a copy of the DVD and check it out. I don't get any extra money if you buy the DVD, so you could stop by my apartment and watch the short with me if you wanted to save a couple bucks. I know times is tough.

I'm so very appreciative of all that Radical has helped me accomplish in my short time here in Atlanta. I hope Radical and I can keep making awesome stuff in the year to come.

I put the finishing touches on my Earl script and it turned out really nice. I'm starting on the long, painful, and arduous task of sending my writing packet out to agencies this week. Nick needs work, so please cross your prayers and say your fingers for me.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

TFAAONNFTFTRCONAGON Episode 4

This is it, the second to last episode, drink it in and for God's sake leave me a comment.



Hope you liked it. I shot the whole thing by myself about a week ago, but I was having a terrible day and after shooting everything I noticed that some stuff was out of focus. I also wasn't loving the way it was going. I rewrote the script and luckily my really good friend Tom Saville was driving through Atlanta this week. He helped me shoot this episode which made the whole process so much faster and easier.

Thanks again Tom!

I have a good idea for the last episode, and i am forming it together right now. Hopefully I can get it done soon.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Jokes 12/07/08

Slow news day.

1. The Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles is restricting smiles in driver's license photographs. Undoubtedly it will be difficult to enforce this, given the usual joyous and upbeat atmosphere the staff at the DMV always provide.

2. A woman was arrested after she left her dog outside in 6 degree weather, causing it to freeze to the sidewalk, setting in motion the reopening of several tongue to flagpole cases.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Jokes 12/04/08

Here are some jokes, more will come later.

1. OJ Simpson was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Almost immediately no riots at all broke out anywhere.

2. In an attempt to help parents out for what is undoubtedly going to be a pretty light Christmas morning, the Cartoon Network is releasing a new Christmas special entitled, "Santa Claus and the Horrible Fire that Burned Down His Toy Factory a Day Before Christmas".

3. Four armed men, two of them in drag, stole over 100 million dollars in jewelry from a Paris boutique. Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari were brought in for questioning.

4. An atheist sign criticizing Christianity that was erected alongside a Nativity scene was taken from the Legislative Building in Olympia, Washington, on Friday and later found in a ditch. The only evidence found by police were Sandal prints in the snow and several hundred fishes and loaves of bread.

5. Staff at Maury Regional Medical Center allege that an elderly man staying at a local rest home was so neglected he had mold growing out of his mouth. Biologist confirm that in actuality, the mold had been so neglected that the man had grown out of it.

TFAAONNFTFTRCONAGON Episode 3!!!

Just finished episode 3 and it was a bitch and a half. This one actually has a tiny morsel of a story line. A conflict arises, then said conflict is overcome. I have a great idea for the last episode, but it'll be really tough to shoot and I'll have to break from my one shot theme. I like that these are just one shot. It actually makes them ten times more difficult to do, but I like challenges.



It's troubling to me that a couple of people said these were a tad long. Really? 3 minutes is long? It's sad to me that we've become such an attention deficit driven society. Unless it's a 10 second video of a monkey farting and falling off a tree, it's too long. My comedy philosophy has always been get in and get out. most of my shorts are under 5 minutes. At this rate tv shows will be the length of commercials and movies will be the length of sitcoms.

I love the internet, but it really has screwed up our brains, or maybe my shorts are to long. I'll work on shortening them for all of you. Kisses.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Jokes 12/03/08

Going to be writing jokes throughout the day, to get back on the writing train. I'll add them to this blog entry as they come.

1. A teen in Miami has lived without a heart for over 4 months, I'm not sure what the big deal is, each cast member of The Girls Next Door has lived without a brain for years.

2. The Hills stars Heidi Montag and her longtime boyfriend Spencer Pratt eloped not long ago, taking Spenser off the most eligible douche bag list.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Poor Little Britney

I just watched Britney Spears "perform" on Good Morning America. Poor Britney. I feel really bad for her. She's had a really rough life. I'm not even talking about her sham of a marriage, her mental breakdown, her pregnant teenage sister, or her bad fashion choices. I'm just sad that some one born with absolutely no talent is being forced time and time again to perform and put out albums. It's like pushing your kid out on a stage and saying he can speak Japanese, when he doesn't know a word of Japanese and just wants to play with his Legos.

The "performance" was of her managers and producers new single Womanizer. One thing I learned today watching Britney "perform" was that if you hire enough back up dancers, you don't have to dance at all. I really think a mannequin on wheels with strings tied to it's arms that someone above it could control, would've moved more than she did on stage.

My brain might have been tainted a little because 3 seconds before I clicked over to endure Britney, I watched Beyoncé's new video for the song All the Single Ladies. It was too much, one extreme to the other. It was like watching Michael Angelo create David then watching the elephant that paints. The Beyoncé video is freaking hypnotic. I defy you to look away. It's a bit unnecessarily over the top though, and I would like to say to Beyoncé, "Girl (Nick's head pivots back on forth on neck) slow down, you workin' way to hard. We got you, we like you, you ain't gots to hurt yourself. Slow that caboose up baby."

I gotta go poo.

Monday, December 1, 2008

TFAAONNFTFTRCONAGON Episode 2!

Wow! Another episode so soon? I can almost feel that all of you are a titter with excitement. Hell, I would just like to feel a titter.

I wasn't planning on shooting anything over the long weekend, but I got bored and decided to write one and shoot it on Sunday. I made my wife help by reading the lines of all the other Nicks. It made the shooting process go by much faster.

This one was a booger to edit for some reason. Hope you enjoy, and if so please leave me a comment, don't be scared. It's so easy, Hitler could do it.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

NFNRNCGN Episode 1

Happy Thanksgiving week everyone. With the economy so bad we may only be able to afford the turkey and the duck for our Turducken this year. It won't be the same, but times are hard and sacrifices must be made, virgin sacrifices.

Unfortunately for our landlady I haven't worked all week, but fortunately for you that means I can make videos. Maybe it's unfortunate for both of you. At any rate, I had an epiphany after making my last video and decided to turn it into a series. I shot the first episode yesterday and finally finished it up this morning. It turned out pretty good.

I got my buddy Ricki Derek's new album in the mail yesterday as well. Besides it sounding amazing, all my art design looked good. It's exciting to be a part of such a great project even if it's just photoshopinating stuff. You should totally buy the album, unless you haven't bought one of my DVD's. Do that first, then buy his album.

The best thing is, he covers the Cure's "Why can't I be like you" and the idea slapped me in the face like a drunk Willaim Shatner, to use the song as the theme for my new series. With Ricki's blessing I used his new version of the song and it's thematically perfect. Thanks Ricki, and thanks Robert Smith.

These are a bitch to shoot and edit, and I really would rather be using my free time to do paying work, but if things are slow I'll try and make some new episodes soon. Please let me know what you think in the comments section and if you like it, send it to your friends. Also fucking hire me to write for your show.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

WTF Video

I shot a new video today, it was pretty hard to coordinate with just me here by myself, and it isn't exactly what I wanted, but it is really weird. Enjoy.

Cracking the Pandora Code

I did it folks, after years of trying I cracked the Pandora code. If you haven't found the website http://pandora.com/ yet, it's really cool. It's a great way to listen to music at work. You type in a group you like and it plays music that "sounds like" that band. So far I've had spotty results. It's usually good about 63% of the time.

After trying to get the perfect station I finally did it. If you like indy mod sort of Britishy rock this is the best thing going. Type in "The Strokes" as the band and you will be treated to a barrage of awesome music including the Killers, Weezer, Arctic Monkeys, Radiohead, Muse, Modest Mouse and tons of other great groups. You have the option of skipping a song if you don't like it and I can honestly say I have never skipped a song on this station. And the best part is there are no commercials or DJs.

I haven't been working this week which always depresses me. I hate not being able to bring money into the household. I've been trying to network like crazy, to get some contacts in the writing world. It seems as if the evil fingers of this horrible recession have gripped the entertainment industry as well. People aren't looking to hire any new fresh raw talent. BTW talent is best raw, with a little wasabi.

To pass the time and try to get a more up to date writing sample I just finished the first draft of a "My Name is Earl" spec script. A spec script has to be of a current show in production. You write it in an attempt to get an agent. The script shows that you can write a show in the voice of that show. It won't ever get made and they tell you not to write a script for a show you actually want to work on.

At any rate it's pretty much done, all I have to do is tighten a couple screws and polish the chrome. It's my third spec script. They are hard to write, because you know that nothing will ever happen with it. Unless you get an agent out of it. If any of you can suggest a good agency to send my sample to please e-mail me.

I think I'll make another video today to pass the time. I love you guys. Except you. You creep my shit out.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

New Video

It's been a while since I posted a "Nick Gibbons' Players" video. If you're new to the blog, these are sketches I shoot, edit, and star in all by myself in my apartment in just a couple of hours. I usually try to do them if I have a free day without anything going on.

This new one is a character bit I've wanted to do on stage for a long time. This one was tough to pull off, it has a lot of set up, and I don't think I got it quite right in this clip, but I think the potential is there and I think it actually might go over better live.

Anyway here it is, sorry it's such bad quality, You Tube sucks balls these days as far as video quality is concerned.

It ain't the best one, but it's cute. I just had a brain fart on a much better way to pull this bit off, start the bit with a news anchor talking about this guy and how he was tortured in his parents basement. Do it real seriously, then end it with his stand up routine. BAM, GOLD! That's why I get paid the big bucks, and in my world "Big Bucks" actually means no money at all.

I have a lot of these type of character bits, which I am now calling my "Failed Stand Up Comedian Bits". Maybe I'll shoot a couple of more of them.

Now it's time for random pics. First up the pumpkins me and the little woman carved for All Hallows Eve.

Next up a pic of the little doggy we dog sat last weekend, Cleetus.

Here she is giving me her famous, "What the hell is your problem" face. Priceless.

While we were in New York, we passed a theater playing Nick and Norahs Infinite Play List. I told Nancy to snap a pick of the name Nick as it came around on the revolving markie. She did a bang up job I think. Narcissist 1/Humble 0.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Album Cover

I've been working for months on the artwork for my buddy's new album. It's sort of been a real pain in the ass, but he paid me so that took a little of the pain away. Money is like the Advil of the working world.

Anyway I heard a couple cuts off the very soon to be released album while I was in Dallas and it sounds great. He has a full 16 piece band on this one. As if that wasn't cool enough, he does a Cure cover. That's worth the price of admission by itself.

I thought I'd post the cover for all to see. He is having the release party/concert this coming November 15th at the Lakewood Theater in Dallas, and no he didn't even ask me to plug it, I did it all on my own.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

VOTE


I personally don't give two shits who you vote for, but for goodness sake get out there and vote! If you don't, you totally give up your right to complain about the country for the next 4 years. I don't know about you, but my favorite thing to do is form uneducated, non researched opinions about politics and argue them with people. Besides, Starbucks is giving away free coffee if you vote. There are like 20 Starbucks within a 2 mile radius from me right now. I can go to everyone and get a free cup of coffee and stock pile that shit! I'll have enough coffee to last me three days, saving me more than 400 dollars! Totally worth it.

VOTE!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Hollow Tooth

I just got root canaled baby!

I can't wait to dive into my candy bucket! I'm eating all the hard candy first.

I can't feel the right side of my face right now. I hate not knowing if I bit a huge chunk off my tongue by accident or not. Root canals are expensive. I can't figure out why something that sucks so much cost so much. It's like paying to get beaten up. I guess the whole "my tooth could rot out of my head and eventually the infection could reach my brain and then I could die" is a "good reason" to get a root canal. It still sucks.

The doctor was great. It was my first time there and he was very informative and very personable. Here is what he used to, what smelled and sounded like, install cabnets in my mouth.

He started drilling into the tooth and it smelled like someone was grilling a live cat.

I gotta go try to eat something now without drooling all over myself. Have a safe Halloween everyone.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

No. 1 Fan

Ok, I'll admit it, I make myself laugh. I laugh at myself a lot. I think I'm funny at least 67% of the time. Is that pretentious or narcissistic? I mean I'm a comedy writer, so if I don't like the "comedy" I'm writing than what the hell am I doing with my life right?

I think it's healthy for someone to like themselves. Most people don't like themselves. That's why there's so many porn stars and politicians. There are lots of things I don't like about myself. I haven't swallowed the Nick Gibbons cool aid yet, I just swish it around in my mouth. Here's a list of some of the things I don't like about myself:

1. I wish I wrote more.
2. I wish I worked worked harder to achieve success in my field.
3. I wish I knew/cared more about politics, history, literature and horticultures.
4. I wish I didn't masturbate so much/violently.
5. I wish I could play the tuba.

I'm somewhat humble at my core, but I do make myself chuckle more often than not. I've made tons of short films and written tons of sketches. I like most of them, but I'm self aware enough to know they aren't all golden eggs. My shit does stink occasionally.

I like to go back and watch my older stuff. I do actually forget a lot of the things I've made. Once I make a video or write a sketch, it's out of my head forever, so watching or re-reading my old material is often times surprising and new. Like the Love Boat. It is however embarrassing to get caught watching myself at work.

Basically this blog is an attempt to explain why I'm reposting an old commercial I made for my DVD. I think this thing is really funny and it makes me chuckle every time I see it. I made it all alone one day in our old apartment in New York. There's a lot going on in it and it was a bitch to make. More importantly, if your lame ass hasn't bought one of my DVD's yet, please for the love of God buy one today. Hell buy 5 of them today, I literally have 900 of them left.

CLICK HERE TO BUY ONE

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Boo and Shit!

Howdy! First of all I wanted to say thanks to all those extremely fortunate people that were lucky enough to make it out to the show last week. They were treated to one of the best Night-OH-Cabaret's we've ever put together. We actually had very talented people in the cast this time around. It made me and Ricki look even less talented, but it was well worth it. Plus I got to come out in a speedo as Michael Phelps and set the land speed record in dropping F-bombs during a Night-OH-Cabaret.

I just got back from New York and it only took 30 minutes for me to realize why I wanted to get the hell out of New York in the first place. The subway is disgusting and anoying as hell. Everything is nasty, expensive, and smells. There are so many freaking rude people that you want to curl up in a ball and cry yourself to death.

Between attending wedding type functions for my wives good friend Heidi, I was able to shoe horn in 2 seperate 4am drinking sessions with old NY buddies, and a couple short catch up sessions with other NY buddies. It was great to see my friends and hang in all my old haunts.

The last day me and the wife both got sick. I blame the layer of disease and filth that coats NY. When we lived there we must have built up a resistance to this toxic environment. Being away for 9 months softened our immune systems. Next time it's hazmat uniforms for everyone!

I have a question about babies. Is there a law that states once you have a child during the month of October you must plunk it down in a pumpkin patch and take its picture? Don't get me wrong, it's cute as hell, but everyone I know with a toddler has sent me a picture of said infant dressed in orange sitting amongst pumpkins. The babies don't seem to mind, but I'm starting to want to carve faces and place candles inside babies.

I decided to make my Halloween scarier than any of you lame ass bitches. What's that Mike? You're going to a haunted house run by ex junkies. That ain't shit when you find out what I have in store! Huh, Sally, you're spending the night in an actual haunted house and using a Milton Bradly Ouji board. That's wimpier than taking a picture of a baby in a pumpkin patch compared to my plans. A night at Crystal Lake on Friday the 13th with Rob Zombie can't touch my Halloween activities. I'm getting a freaking root canal on Halloween! A SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY ROOT CANAL...with no local anesthetic!!!!!! And the doctor is far sited!!!!!!!!!

I'm so pissed I have to get a root canal. What's worse is they might have to extract the whole tooth. I'm going to be freaking reenacting a scene from "Saw 17" on Halloween this year. The scariest thing is we just discovered that our dental insurance sucks harder than Dracula in an Amish community on a bender.

I'll post some NY pics next time. Have a great Halloween!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Hair a go gone

Yes, my life is so boring these days that I'm blogging about getting a hair cut while listening to "Bang a gong" by the Power station on retro radio on iTunes. It has been a long time since I had the old ears lowered though, about 3 months. It was getting pretty ridiculous. I looked like a crazy homeless dude, hell I looked like a regular homeless dude.

BEFORE


AFTER


Now I'm ready for that job on Wall Street, apparently you don't have to know what the fuck you're doing there to have a job, I'm perfect.

Now for Gods sake buy your freaking tickets for the Cabaret! Seriously.
Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Posting Posters Pleases

I love doing a Night-OH-Cabaret close to a holiday, because it gives me the chance to make tons of themed posters for the show. I'm not sure whether or not these help to get butts in the seat, but at least it helps me to be creative.

I'm going to post all the posters I've done so far for the upcoming show for fun and easy consumption right here and right now! Also, buy a freaking ticket already! Just click the button and do it. You'll have a great time and it will hep you forget about how shitty the economy is for a couple hours.
Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Dracula has a message for you!

Night-OH-Cabaret


Now click here to buy your tickets:
Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

BUY YOUR TICKETS!!!!!!

We are all fancy and grown up now at the ol' Night-OH-Cabaret. We finally have our shit together. You can actually buy tickets online for the show. We are in a great new venue and it would be a shame if no one came out, please dig down deep and start clicking internet buttons until you have purchased 100s of tickets for the show. You can use your credit card, because everyone knows if you die before paying off your credit cards the debt goes to hell to burn with Satan.

Click the button below to buy your tickets.
Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Sunday, September 28, 2008

NIGHT-OH-CABARET

We are back baby! It's been quite a while since the last show, but the Night-OH-Cabaret is back and in a new venue to boot. We are throwing up Dallas' best, funniest, and longest running comedy variety show on Friday October 17th at our new venue The Hub Theater! We are doing 2 shows that night, at 8pm and 10:30pm.

Tickets will be available online very soon. We have some crazy ass shit planned so please come out and bring a friend.

Drop by our face book page and add us to your friends.

I'm looking forward to doing the show and seeing all my friends. This really is one of the best shows I've ever been a part of and I'm so very proud of the almost 10 years of comedy we've created.

Don't let me down Dallas!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Lost Commercial

I was digging around in the old computer today and I found a commercial I made about 2 years ago. It has a lot of my improv friends from New York in it. I made for a sketch show I was doing in Dallas called "The Balzac Brothers present Variety Dome 5000". Not many people showed up, but we had fun anyway.

So check out this gem?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Daddy Want

I've been eating better and trying to lose some of the girth I have acquired while being a lazy gluttonous aging fat ass over the past several years. For the first time I'm actually watching what I eat. I've discovered that if you eat less, don't shove crappy fast food or buckets of chips into your body, and just walk about 45 minutes a day, you actually lose weight. Who would have thought doing what your supposed to do to lose weight would work?

My weight loss attempt has been going on now for about 2 and a half months. I was really happy with the results and planning on keeping on track, until I noticed pure evil on the horizon, raising up from the depths of hell to impede my path. It's a worthy and ominous foe. It haunts my dreams and pulls at my will power every second of the day. It's name is Volcano Taco.

Gaze upon it's red shell. It appears to have been forged in Satan's fiery asshole. Marvel at it's spicy cheese sauce, processed from the heat of a thousand suns. I want one, neigh I NEED one! BTW they call it Volcano because your ass turns into an active volcano of lava like shit after you eat one.

On a related note, I'm going to buy a chihuahua, put it in a room, and feed it nothing but Taco Bell until it diarrheas itself to death. Then I'm going to sue Taco Bell for advertising that it's safe to feed their nasty ass food to dogs. I'm going to use the chihuahua from the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua, because he should be ashamed of himself for being a part of that shitty movie. Bad dog, bad dog! It's part of my horror movie remake of "Saw" using animals instead of people. I'm going to call it "Paw".

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Reel for Real

I swear to God they keep putting out the Halloween stuff earlier and earlier each year. It's not even October yet for Satan's sake.

If you didn't get a chance to watch my episode of Robotboy last week, which I'm assuming includes all of you, it was really good. They stuck to the script relatively closely. A lot closer than I thought they might. They pulled off the scary mysterious voiced exposition guy joke really well.

I cut together a sort of demo reel about a week ago as a companion piece to my resume in an attempt to obtain writing gigs. I threw it up on You Tube and thought my Mom might get a kick out of watching it, so I'm putting it up here. Please leave a comment, good bad or ugly, It's been pretty quiet in the ol' comments section. I just cleaned up in there so all the dust balls, spider webs, tumble weeds, and dead whores should be gone.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Matching Pair

It's official! Not that there was any doubt, but I'm officially an idiot. I sprang my OTHER ankle this weekend. Now I have two sprung ankles. It wasn't as bad as the left one, but it hurt worse. I think it's safe to say I'm accident prone in the ankle region. I'm just glad I don't have three ankles.

On an unrelated topic, another one of my Robotboy episodes comes on Cartoon Network tonight at 7 pm. Check your local listings. My episode's called, "Curse of Truckinstien". It's about monster trucks coming to life. I don't get to see my episodes until they air, and this one gave me the most trouble. The other three episodes pretty much made it through the process without many notes. The two I've seen so far have been right on the money as far as my scripts were concerned. They stayed true to what I had written, which doesn't happen a lot in this industry. This one went through a couple of rewrites on my part. There was problems with the ending and on my last rewrite I remember it all clicking for me. I feverishly retooled the show and it just worked. For me at least. It was a pretty drastic rewrite and I sent it in with my fingers crossed. I never heard a peep back from them, so I assumed they liked it. I guess we'll see how close they stuck to my script tonight.

BTW, if you're trying to be a writer, I have some information that might help. When you finally get your first gig, Your employer will never, ever, ever, say they like your work. You won't get a, "Great job" or "Nice work". They may really like it, but don't expect any pats on your back. I later heard from the director of the series, who happens to be a friend of mine, that they loved my scripts. I never would have known that from the lack of feedback I received. Just be thankful that you have work and do your best, that is thanks enough.

It's a job like any other I suppose. Speaking of, if anyone has any leads on shows that need a writer, let me know.

Kisses.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Up yours Fey!

What up bitches! Bet you didn’t know I was all up in Florida last week did ya? Well I totally was and I got tons of pics to prove it. Get ready for another “Nick Travelogue”.

My wife got a mandatory week off from work last week, so we threw together a make shift vacation. We decided to drive down to Destin Florida and stay at a hotel on the beach. After buying a weeks worth of non refundable nights on Hotels.com, imagine how delighted we were to find out that there was a category 4 hurricane headed toward our vacation spot. We loaded up the Fit and headed down south with high hopes and sunshiny dispositions anyway last Monday, not knowing what was in store for us. Turns out the hurricane decided to hit New Orleans. They really should turn off that enormous hurricane magnet. Why did they even build that thing?

The weather actually turned out great all week.

On the way down we stopped at a gas station that my buddy Todd told me about. There's a pond behind the station that had for real alligators.


Todd told me to buy some pork rinds and the alligators would eat them. I guess the alligator had just eaten a baby or something because no matter how hard I threw the pork rinds at him he wouldn't move.

There were tons of turtles in the pond and they would eat the pork rinds like they were covered in turtle crack. If all these turtles ate was pork rinds they must have terrible cholesterol.

After several unsuccessful attempts to piss the alligator off, we were back on the road. The whole drive was about 5 hours and 45 minutes. Here's the view from our room.

The first two days we were there they had two red flags waving, which meant the water was to dangerous to swim. We're tying to save these days, so we found this restaurant that had half price entries from 5 to 6. It was a pretty expensive seafood place right on the water called The Marina Cafe. We get to the place around 5:15, and it was really nice inside. Here's the view from our table.

We discovered where every elderly person goes between 5 and 6. We were the youngest patrons there. I was happy to see all the old people because I thought after you turn 60 you just lost interest in eating. The old people said it just gets better.

Here I am looking humble.

Mojito anyone? This vacation picture was sponsored by Bacardi Rum, nothing says beach vacation like Bacardi Rum... I SAID NOTHING YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!

I ordered the Peppered Seared Tuna. It was amazing.

The next day we took a walk on the beach and a dip in the pool.

We were almost eaten by a hideiously fat and scary pool monster.

But it was OK, he turned out to be friendly. Still fat as hell, but friendly.

The hot tub had this list of rules, and I've highlighted one that caught our eye.

There is nothing better than vague warnings. Especially vague warnings that someone actually paid to have printed onto a sign. "This may or may not quite possibly lead to an outcome or an event especially relative to an individual"

Since we couldn't get into the waves, we decided to go to The Track. The wife wanted to go for the skeetball, but I was all about the go cart track that had a spiral part that went up several layers.

I totally randomly hopped in number 69.

I was so excited to jam on the throttle and rocket into my nail biting race around the track, until I actually did jam on the throttle. The go cart barely moved. It went so slow that Steven Hawkins past me up in his Hoveround flipping me off.

After some coaxing, I talked my wife into having a go on the bumper boats.

It was me in one boat, my wife in another, a Dad and his little kid, and rounding out the bumper boat squad, a hyperactive sugar fueled 8 year old boy. I thought it would be a leisurely ride around in a tiny water craft. Once we sat down in the boats, me and the wife both realized that the small boats were equipped with squirt guns. Long story short, 5 minutes and one sugar fueled hyperactive kid with a squirt gun later, me and the wife were soaked.

It was all worth it though, because I got this picture.

Two of my favorite things to do.

Our next dinner was at a place called The Luck Snapper.


They had one of those grabber machines, but instead of a cute stuffed animal, you could grab a live lobster.

Poor guys. It's bad enough that they have to contend with a mysterious hand of God grabbing them out of a tank and throwing them into a boiling pot. Now there is some drunk douche bag paying 50 cents to hit you in the face with a plastic grabbing device over and over again.

We got to share our seating area with some seagulls who where kicking back a couple Coronas and some cheese sticks.

It's so beautiful.

What? I'm 20 yards away from a beach? No thanks I'm cool.

I'm not sure where, when, or why this happened, but my wife has a very unhealthy obsession with "boogie boarding". We stopped in at one of those souvenir stores and they were selling boogie boards for like 6 bucks. I cost more than that to rent one, so we took the plunge and became the proud owners of a boogie board. A boogie board with a pirate skull and cross bones on it no less.

The wife is much better at boogieing than I.

Notice how I conveniently hide my fat belly with the boogie board.

Here are a couple sand castles we buil... OK OK, we found them.


This was a gay bar.

I hope this dude is planning on making a coffee table out of that surf board.

There was a dentist convention in the Hilton the week we were there. On our last night there, the dentist had a fireworks show on the beach. We basically sat here to watch it.

It was 20 minutes long and we were 30 yards away from the actual fireworks. I was in constant fear one of the shells was going to stray off course and shoot at my face, my beautiful beautiful face.

This is the way I drink coffee in the morning. Jealous?

We met a nice older couple on the beach and they offered to take our picture. Then they offered to have a four-way.

We found a little dead jelly fish.

It was delicious.

On our last walk down the beach we saw this dude. It's me from the future.

I've been on a diet for the last couple of months. Stop laughing. At any rate, it's working and it's only working because I've drastically changed my eating habits. Which isn't easy. One of my favorite fast foody things to eat in Texas was a big honkin' mustard dripping Wataburger with cheese.

Thank God they don't have them in Atlanta, but they did have one in Destin, so on the last day of the trip, this happened.


Sweet sweet Wataburger! They also have the best ketchup on the planet.

I'll end on some post card pictures I took, wish you were here: