Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Dracula has a message for you!


Now click here to buy your tickets:
Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com


We are all fancy and grown up now at the ol' Night-OH-Cabaret. We finally have our shit together. You can actually buy tickets online for the show. We are in a great new venue and it would be a shame if no one came out, please dig down deep and start clicking internet buttons until you have purchased 100s of tickets for the show. You can use your credit card, because everyone knows if you die before paying off your credit cards the debt goes to hell to burn with Satan.

Click the button below to buy your tickets.
Click here to buy tickets to Ricki Derek's Night-oh-cabaret via smarttix.com

Sunday, September 28, 2008


We are back baby! It's been quite a while since the last show, but the Night-OH-Cabaret is back and in a new venue to boot. We are throwing up Dallas' best, funniest, and longest running comedy variety show on Friday October 17th at our new venue The Hub Theater! We are doing 2 shows that night, at 8pm and 10:30pm.

Tickets will be available online very soon. We have some crazy ass shit planned so please come out and bring a friend.

Drop by our face book page and add us to your friends.

I'm looking forward to doing the show and seeing all my friends. This really is one of the best shows I've ever been a part of and I'm so very proud of the almost 10 years of comedy we've created.

Don't let me down Dallas!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Lost Commercial

I was digging around in the old computer today and I found a commercial I made about 2 years ago. It has a lot of my improv friends from New York in it. I made for a sketch show I was doing in Dallas called "The Balzac Brothers present Variety Dome 5000". Not many people showed up, but we had fun anyway.

So check out this gem?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Daddy Want

I've been eating better and trying to lose some of the girth I have acquired while being a lazy gluttonous aging fat ass over the past several years. For the first time I'm actually watching what I eat. I've discovered that if you eat less, don't shove crappy fast food or buckets of chips into your body, and just walk about 45 minutes a day, you actually lose weight. Who would have thought doing what your supposed to do to lose weight would work?

My weight loss attempt has been going on now for about 2 and a half months. I was really happy with the results and planning on keeping on track, until I noticed pure evil on the horizon, raising up from the depths of hell to impede my path. It's a worthy and ominous foe. It haunts my dreams and pulls at my will power every second of the day. It's name is Volcano Taco.

Gaze upon it's red shell. It appears to have been forged in Satan's fiery asshole. Marvel at it's spicy cheese sauce, processed from the heat of a thousand suns. I want one, neigh I NEED one! BTW they call it Volcano because your ass turns into an active volcano of lava like shit after you eat one.

On a related note, I'm going to buy a chihuahua, put it in a room, and feed it nothing but Taco Bell until it diarrheas itself to death. Then I'm going to sue Taco Bell for advertising that it's safe to feed their nasty ass food to dogs. I'm going to use the chihuahua from the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua, because he should be ashamed of himself for being a part of that shitty movie. Bad dog, bad dog! It's part of my horror movie remake of "Saw" using animals instead of people. I'm going to call it "Paw".

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Reel for Real

I swear to God they keep putting out the Halloween stuff earlier and earlier each year. It's not even October yet for Satan's sake.

If you didn't get a chance to watch my episode of Robotboy last week, which I'm assuming includes all of you, it was really good. They stuck to the script relatively closely. A lot closer than I thought they might. They pulled off the scary mysterious voiced exposition guy joke really well.

I cut together a sort of demo reel about a week ago as a companion piece to my resume in an attempt to obtain writing gigs. I threw it up on You Tube and thought my Mom might get a kick out of watching it, so I'm putting it up here. Please leave a comment, good bad or ugly, It's been pretty quiet in the ol' comments section. I just cleaned up in there so all the dust balls, spider webs, tumble weeds, and dead whores should be gone.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Matching Pair

It's official! Not that there was any doubt, but I'm officially an idiot. I sprang my OTHER ankle this weekend. Now I have two sprung ankles. It wasn't as bad as the left one, but it hurt worse. I think it's safe to say I'm accident prone in the ankle region. I'm just glad I don't have three ankles.

On an unrelated topic, another one of my Robotboy episodes comes on Cartoon Network tonight at 7 pm. Check your local listings. My episode's called, "Curse of Truckinstien". It's about monster trucks coming to life. I don't get to see my episodes until they air, and this one gave me the most trouble. The other three episodes pretty much made it through the process without many notes. The two I've seen so far have been right on the money as far as my scripts were concerned. They stayed true to what I had written, which doesn't happen a lot in this industry. This one went through a couple of rewrites on my part. There was problems with the ending and on my last rewrite I remember it all clicking for me. I feverishly retooled the show and it just worked. For me at least. It was a pretty drastic rewrite and I sent it in with my fingers crossed. I never heard a peep back from them, so I assumed they liked it. I guess we'll see how close they stuck to my script tonight.

BTW, if you're trying to be a writer, I have some information that might help. When you finally get your first gig, Your employer will never, ever, ever, say they like your work. You won't get a, "Great job" or "Nice work". They may really like it, but don't expect any pats on your back. I later heard from the director of the series, who happens to be a friend of mine, that they loved my scripts. I never would have known that from the lack of feedback I received. Just be thankful that you have work and do your best, that is thanks enough.

It's a job like any other I suppose. Speaking of, if anyone has any leads on shows that need a writer, let me know.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Up yours Fey!

What up bitches! Bet you didn’t know I was all up in Florida last week did ya? Well I totally was and I got tons of pics to prove it. Get ready for another “Nick Travelogue”.

My wife got a mandatory week off from work last week, so we threw together a make shift vacation. We decided to drive down to Destin Florida and stay at a hotel on the beach. After buying a weeks worth of non refundable nights on Hotels.com, imagine how delighted we were to find out that there was a category 4 hurricane headed toward our vacation spot. We loaded up the Fit and headed down south with high hopes and sunshiny dispositions anyway last Monday, not knowing what was in store for us. Turns out the hurricane decided to hit New Orleans. They really should turn off that enormous hurricane magnet. Why did they even build that thing?

The weather actually turned out great all week.

On the way down we stopped at a gas station that my buddy Todd told me about. There's a pond behind the station that had for real alligators.

Todd told me to buy some pork rinds and the alligators would eat them. I guess the alligator had just eaten a baby or something because no matter how hard I threw the pork rinds at him he wouldn't move.

There were tons of turtles in the pond and they would eat the pork rinds like they were covered in turtle crack. If all these turtles ate was pork rinds they must have terrible cholesterol.

After several unsuccessful attempts to piss the alligator off, we were back on the road. The whole drive was about 5 hours and 45 minutes. Here's the view from our room.

The first two days we were there they had two red flags waving, which meant the water was to dangerous to swim. We're tying to save these days, so we found this restaurant that had half price entries from 5 to 6. It was a pretty expensive seafood place right on the water called The Marina Cafe. We get to the place around 5:15, and it was really nice inside. Here's the view from our table.

We discovered where every elderly person goes between 5 and 6. We were the youngest patrons there. I was happy to see all the old people because I thought after you turn 60 you just lost interest in eating. The old people said it just gets better.

Here I am looking humble.

Mojito anyone? This vacation picture was sponsored by Bacardi Rum, nothing says beach vacation like Bacardi Rum... I SAID NOTHING YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!

I ordered the Peppered Seared Tuna. It was amazing.

The next day we took a walk on the beach and a dip in the pool.

We were almost eaten by a hideiously fat and scary pool monster.

But it was OK, he turned out to be friendly. Still fat as hell, but friendly.

The hot tub had this list of rules, and I've highlighted one that caught our eye.

There is nothing better than vague warnings. Especially vague warnings that someone actually paid to have printed onto a sign. "This may or may not quite possibly lead to an outcome or an event especially relative to an individual"

Since we couldn't get into the waves, we decided to go to The Track. The wife wanted to go for the skeetball, but I was all about the go cart track that had a spiral part that went up several layers.

I totally randomly hopped in number 69.

I was so excited to jam on the throttle and rocket into my nail biting race around the track, until I actually did jam on the throttle. The go cart barely moved. It went so slow that Steven Hawkins past me up in his Hoveround flipping me off.

After some coaxing, I talked my wife into having a go on the bumper boats.

It was me in one boat, my wife in another, a Dad and his little kid, and rounding out the bumper boat squad, a hyperactive sugar fueled 8 year old boy. I thought it would be a leisurely ride around in a tiny water craft. Once we sat down in the boats, me and the wife both realized that the small boats were equipped with squirt guns. Long story short, 5 minutes and one sugar fueled hyperactive kid with a squirt gun later, me and the wife were soaked.

It was all worth it though, because I got this picture.

Two of my favorite things to do.

Our next dinner was at a place called The Luck Snapper.

They had one of those grabber machines, but instead of a cute stuffed animal, you could grab a live lobster.

Poor guys. It's bad enough that they have to contend with a mysterious hand of God grabbing them out of a tank and throwing them into a boiling pot. Now there is some drunk douche bag paying 50 cents to hit you in the face with a plastic grabbing device over and over again.

We got to share our seating area with some seagulls who where kicking back a couple Coronas and some cheese sticks.

It's so beautiful.

What? I'm 20 yards away from a beach? No thanks I'm cool.

I'm not sure where, when, or why this happened, but my wife has a very unhealthy obsession with "boogie boarding". We stopped in at one of those souvenir stores and they were selling boogie boards for like 6 bucks. I cost more than that to rent one, so we took the plunge and became the proud owners of a boogie board. A boogie board with a pirate skull and cross bones on it no less.

The wife is much better at boogieing than I.

Notice how I conveniently hide my fat belly with the boogie board.

Here are a couple sand castles we buil... OK OK, we found them.

This was a gay bar.

I hope this dude is planning on making a coffee table out of that surf board.

There was a dentist convention in the Hilton the week we were there. On our last night there, the dentist had a fireworks show on the beach. We basically sat here to watch it.

It was 20 minutes long and we were 30 yards away from the actual fireworks. I was in constant fear one of the shells was going to stray off course and shoot at my face, my beautiful beautiful face.

This is the way I drink coffee in the morning. Jealous?

We met a nice older couple on the beach and they offered to take our picture. Then they offered to have a four-way.

We found a little dead jelly fish.

It was delicious.

On our last walk down the beach we saw this dude. It's me from the future.

I've been on a diet for the last couple of months. Stop laughing. At any rate, it's working and it's only working because I've drastically changed my eating habits. Which isn't easy. One of my favorite fast foody things to eat in Texas was a big honkin' mustard dripping Wataburger with cheese.

Thank God they don't have them in Atlanta, but they did have one in Destin, so on the last day of the trip, this happened.

Sweet sweet Wataburger! They also have the best ketchup on the planet.

I'll end on some post card pictures I took, wish you were here: