Thursday, September 25, 2008

Daddy Want

I've been eating better and trying to lose some of the girth I have acquired while being a lazy gluttonous aging fat ass over the past several years. For the first time I'm actually watching what I eat. I've discovered that if you eat less, don't shove crappy fast food or buckets of chips into your body, and just walk about 45 minutes a day, you actually lose weight. Who would have thought doing what your supposed to do to lose weight would work?

My weight loss attempt has been going on now for about 2 and a half months. I was really happy with the results and planning on keeping on track, until I noticed pure evil on the horizon, raising up from the depths of hell to impede my path. It's a worthy and ominous foe. It haunts my dreams and pulls at my will power every second of the day. It's name is Volcano Taco.

Gaze upon it's red shell. It appears to have been forged in Satan's fiery asshole. Marvel at it's spicy cheese sauce, processed from the heat of a thousand suns. I want one, neigh I NEED one! BTW they call it Volcano because your ass turns into an active volcano of lava like shit after you eat one.

On a related note, I'm going to buy a chihuahua, put it in a room, and feed it nothing but Taco Bell until it diarrheas itself to death. Then I'm going to sue Taco Bell for advertising that it's safe to feed their nasty ass food to dogs. I'm going to use the chihuahua from the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua, because he should be ashamed of himself for being a part of that shitty movie. Bad dog, bad dog! It's part of my horror movie remake of "Saw" using animals instead of people. I'm going to call it "Paw".


dicky said...

You missed saying "You got runs from the border" That's an oldy but a goody.

Other fast food knock offs...
Breaking Windy's
Long Shit Quivers
Crap in the Box
Kentucky Fried Poop pile

etc, etc...

love and incest,

sam said...

I love the volcano taco.