Here are some jokes, more will come later.
1. OJ Simpson was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Almost immediately no riots at all broke out anywhere.
2. In an attempt to help parents out for what is undoubtedly going to be a pretty light Christmas morning, the Cartoon Network is releasing a new Christmas special entitled, "Santa Claus and the Horrible Fire that Burned Down His Toy Factory a Day Before Christmas".
3. Four armed men, two of them in drag, stole over 100 million dollars in jewelry from a Paris boutique. Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari were brought in for questioning.
4. An atheist sign criticizing Christianity that was erected alongside a Nativity scene was taken from the Legislative Building in Olympia, Washington, on Friday and later found in a ditch. The only evidence found by police were Sandal prints in the snow and several hundred fishes and loaves of bread.
5. Staff at Maury Regional Medical Center allege that an elderly man staying at a local rest home was so neglected he had mold growing out of his mouth. Biologist confirm that in actuality, the mold had been so neglected that the man had grown out of it.