Saturday, September 29, 2007

Finally, Something Interesting

I have to apologize to all 4 of you for my lack luster blogs as of late. It's not really my fault, it's fates fault. Fate has seen to it that my life has been pretty boring the last couple of weeks, so send fate an angry e-mail when you get a chance.

The dry spell is officially over, because last night was awesome!

Let me back up a bit, Nancy told me a while ago that the opening night movie at the New York film festival was going to be The Darjeeling Limited, Wes Anderson's new film. The New York film festival is a pretty big festival and it happens to be run by Lincoln Center, where Nancy has worked on and off for the past 5 years. Nancy had given free passes for the event she produced this summer to the woman that runs the festival, so she e-mailed her and asked about tickets to the opening night.

We never heard back from her so we figured it was dead in the water. On thursday we get an e-mail from her that says she has 2 tickets for the movie if we wanted them, not free though, those bitches were 40 bucks each. We buy the tickets and Nancy says she wishes we could get tickets for the after party. She worked her magic and scores us 2 tickets to the after party, which is black tie, open bar, free food, live band, and being held at the Tavern on the Green.

We had bought some skirt steak this week and were planning to make fajitas Friday night. The movie didn't start until 9pm, so we thought we could make them and have plenty of time to get to the theater. We were using this recipe we saw on a Food Network show. It involved a homemade marinade, that the steak had to soak in for an hour, so it took a tad longer than we antisipated. We finally plopped the meat on the red hot grill in the kitchen. Immediately our apartment was filled with meat smoke. The smell fused to our hair and flesh. All nite now we would have to sport Calvin Kleins new fragrance, "Steak Fajita". I guess there are worse things to smell like. We made the meal, scarfed it down, got dressed, and hopped on the subway.

We arrived in plenty of time and made out way to the theater. As we approached the theater my wife says, "Oh look, it's Dan Akroyd". I knew who she meant and sure enough two feet from me, was Bill Murray. He was entering the theater as pictures were taken. We walk in and found our seats. The festivities began with a 10 minute long Wes Anderson short film. It starred Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman. It was basically a prelude to the actual movie. It was really good and you get to see full on Natalie Portman ass. Sweet.

After the film was through, two very awkward people, gave two very awkward speeches about the festival or something. Then Wes Anderson appeared and thanked us for coming out and introduced Several members of the cast, who then walked onto the stage. The stars included Jason Schwartzman, Adrian Brody, Bill Murray, Angelica Houston, and some Indian people that were in the movie. It was pretty cool.

The movie finally started. I really enjoyed it, Nancy thought it was just OK. I think it is sort of a guys movie, it deals with three brothers and their stilted relationships. I don't have any siblings, so it didn't speak to me on that level, but it did remind me of my relationship with one of my best friends. The entire film is stunningly beautiful. I'm a little gay for Wes Anderson already, so this film had me at Wes Anderson.

The movie ended and it was time to kick it at the after party. We get to Tavern on the Green and there's a long line of people waiting to get in. Immediately Nancy sees a guy she knows from work at the back entrance and walks over to him. 4 seconds later we're inside, going through the "talent's" entrance. BAM! That's how we role. It turns out we didn't even need the tickets to the after party. I had never been inside Tavern on the Green before, and it was pretty freaking awesome. The place was huge. It's made up of 3 different buildings that surround an amazing courtyard. There is another outdoor area as well in the back. It almost seemed fake, like a place you would see a classy party take place in a movie. They had open bars everywhere and food stations set up in each of the rooms. It smelled like a wedding reception.

We grabbed a couple free drinks and made our way around the place. It was packed with assholes in tuxedos and attractive young women. It was wall to wall wannabes and door to door douchebags. We finally ended up in the same room as all the people from the movie. I'm cripplingly shy about talking to famous people, but Nancy is not, so we made a bee line for Wes. Nancy is my mouth piece, my ice breaker. She's like the silencer on my "I want to meet you" gun. She trots right up to him and introduces us. We shake his hand. That's it. That's about all you get in these type of events. There is 20 other people around him vying for his attention. He knows half of them, so people like me and Nancy can't hold his attention for very long. I have to say, that guy is more awkward and shy than I could ever hope to be. He's tall skinny and looks like he could be easily folded up and put in a suitcase. Like I said earlier, I'm pretty gay for his work, and I don't know what I was expecting when I met him. All I can say is it was very underwhelming. I know we're all equal on this great cosmic playing field, and no one person is really any better than any other person. However when you meet someone who you admire and respect, someone with such a strong and focused vision, you sort of expect to get a vibe off of them. A feeling or a spark. I got nuthin'. I got the feeling he is just a lucky guy that surrounded himself with amazingly talented people, which if I ever got to that degree of fame, I would do as well. Disney did it, and it's the best way to make your visions come to life faster and more precisely. I admire his work and I will continue to support his art, I just don't want to meet him anymore.

I've actually had the good fortune to meet a lot of the people I admire. I have to say 50% of the time it's a huge let down, and I end up with a stilted view of said person that then effects the way I look at their work from there on out.

Next on our star fucking tour, Jason Schwartzman. We snuck up behind him. To get to him I had to squeeze between two of the "Star's Tables". Neither of the people I had to squeeze by scooted up and it was a tight fit. Long story short, I totally rubbed my sweet ass all across the back of Angelica Houston's head, awesome! We waited for Jason to finish talking to whoever he was talking to. Nancy jumped in and introduced herself and me, then something magical happened. This event will for ever live in the "What the Fuck" filing cabinet in my head. Just as we were striking up a conversation with Jason, a tiny old lady midget hobbles up and grabs Jason's hand, then pulls him away from us. I was thinking, "Who the hell is this rude ass old hobbit that just stole my Jason away!", then I realized, it was fucking Dr. fucking Ruth! She is literally 3 foot tall and has to be 96 years old if she's a day. She won't let go of Jason and is pulling him further and further out of me and Nancy's orbit. We just stood there, helpless, as Jason drifted off into nothingness.

The only person I was rabid about meeting was Bill Murray. I love that dude. At this point we had probably had one to many free drinks, and not enough free pasta. Bill had been sitting at his table for the past 20 minutes. There were two very young girls sitting on either side of him. No one was sure who they were, but I decide to lock and load my Nancy gun and make a move. I told Nancy I had worked out some schtick to pull on Bill. I was going to say, "I wanted to buy you a drink... but they're all free so I couldn't" We make our way to the seated Murray. We are pretty drunkish at this point. Nancy introduces us and says "We love all your movies" I look in Bill's eyes. I can tell at this point Bill's done with people. Bill wants to go home. He smiles and I blurt out "Weeeell, not all your movies" Then, with lightening precision, Nancy says, "We wanted to buy you a drink, but it's an open bar." My own wife stole my bit, I was in shock. I followed my bit up with, "Is there anything we could bring you?" He said no then offered us some of the desert that was on his table. Nancy said no thanks then asked him if she could have one of the little balls of butter that were in a small bowl on the table. I thought is was funny, but it just confused Bill Murray. We said our goodbyes and left the table.

It could have gone worse, it could have gone better, but the point is it went. We have a stupid fun celebrity story, and he has another couple of idiots that he probably forgot 3 minutes after we left his table. It was great.

The party was over so we found a cab and made our way home. All in all it was a pretty fun night. We never saw Adrian Brody, I wanted to congratulate him on the Oscar, because I've never met him thus never gotten to congratulate him?


Nick Gibbons said...

Dude, that was such an asshole thing to say about Wes Anderson, why are you such a dick? You're just like those pricks who are jealous of someone's success so you give them a backhanded compliment. Jerk

Nick Gibbons said...

I know, it really was a shitty thing to say, sorry Wes, I didn't mean for it to come across so caddy.

Nick Gibbons said...

You can't say something like that then try and take it back douchebag.

Nick Gibbons said...

You're right me, I am jealous of his success and I was a dick. I'll try to be better next time.

Nick Gibbons said...

That's cool. High fives all around.

dicky van tastic said...

I didn't get a high five....

Nick Gibbons said...

Sorry man, we're all out now. There should be some more coming in next Tuesday.