I've been putting off posting a blog for the past couple of days because not a freaking thing has been going on. I'm sort of hitting a creative wall right now. I can't write anything and it's scaring me. I just sit there and try to think of what I need to do now and nothing comes to me. I am a little frightened about my future to be honest. Not sure what I'm supposed to be doing and it's freaking me out.
I want to write comedy, shows or anything that I can, but I don't know how to make that happen. It seems like all the people that I thought might could help me out or point me in he right direction, sort of, well, just didn't.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach and I feel like I'm wasting my time not actually working at a job everyday that will put money in the bank. I know I have to work at this like it's my job, but it's really tough when you have no idea if you're concentrating on the right thing or you're not sure what direction you should pour your energy.
Screenplays take months and months to write, and longer to get just right. I don't mind doing that, but it's hard to feel like your doing anything productive when you don't see any return on the time you've invested.
I think all creative people have self doubt, I hope they do at least. Confidence in what your doing can take you a long way, but at some point you question what you're doing.
I go through these funks from time to time and I seem to always pull myself out. I'm not looking for a bunch of "Don't worry you're doing great" comments, I just wanted to share the shitty part of the creative process.
For not having anything to write in the blog I seem to have filled this one up, it's full of bullshit, but it's full nonetheless. I still can't believe that "nonetheless" is an actual word. It's just three words stuck together with shear willpower, but it's a totally recognized "real" word by spell check. I want to make more long strung together words. Here's my first one, "yourassisleaking". Let me use it in a sentence, "Excuse me sir, but yourassisleaking, nonetheless all over my new denim jacket."
I love all the 4 people that read my blog!!!!!!!!! Well... 3 of you at least.