Monday, August 13, 2007

Nice Pair

I can finally make those mouse earrings. That’s right, I caught the other mice's friend. This was a little more unsettling than the last one, because this little guy was able to move the mousetrap about a foot from where it got him before he went to mouse heaven. I told Nancy that it was crawling around half in a mouse trap. She then told me about her friend who caught a mouse in a mouse trap and it crawled all the way across the room and got halfway back into it's hole before it finally expired. It's like those over the top action movies where some dude is half dead and he's still able to muster all his strength to kill all the bad guys. These mice are like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, only people are the terrorists, and the mice have hair. Although, oddly enough, this mouse did have a shaved head.

Speaking of action movies, I had never seen any of the Bourne movies, and Nancy kept telling me they were really good. If my wife is actively taking steps to get me to watch a movie not containing a hoop skirt or the name Jane Austin in the title, I'm there! We bought the first two on DVD this week and watched them, and I have to say, those freaking movies are great! I love me some Bourne. This might sound gay, but I would totally have gay sex with Jason Bourne. At any rate, we went to see the third installment in the series Sunday, again I must say these freaking movies are great. After watching all of them back to back, I have come to a realization that I could watch a new Bourne movie every day and love it just as much. Good stuff.

I have decided that people suck and are rude for the most part, myself included. I sort of thought this anyway, but sitting in a theater, people watching, just cements how inconsiderate people can be. There were no less than 6 separate incidents that occurred while me and the wife sat in the theater, that it made me loose faith in humanity. It's OK alien races, go ahead and destroy the planet, nothing really worth salvaging down here. Hey God, looking at my watch here, isn't it about time for that revelation thing you keep making noise about?

I have three things to say to EVERYONE in the world about the movies.

1. If a movie starts at 8pm DO NOT SHOW UP AT 8:15pm and expect to get a good seat. You are an idiot. Why is it so important to sit right next to the person you came with, are you planning on working out all those issues that have been keeping you so distant in your relationship during the movie? No! You're going to sit there and not talk or look at that person for the next 2 hours, suck it up and grab that single seat bitch.
2. You turned your phone off, thanks, but stop fucking opening it! That little incandescent screen is a fucking lighthouse beacon when it's opened inside of a dark room, asshole. If you’re that concerned about what time it is, go to your fucking apartment and sit your short attention spanned ass in front of your computer and watch 2 minute clips of dudes hitting themselves in the nuts on You Tube.
3. If you take a 5 year old to "Saw 3", you're a bad person and should have your "human" I.D. card taken away. Nothing says good parenting like subjecting a child at heir most impressionable years to filthy language, graphic violence, and sex.

There are more, but I'm just getting angrier, I have to do some yoga and center my Chi.


tomsaville said...

Damn straight! How about people who actually talk on their cell phones in the movie? Or won't shut up during it.

White Plains is the worst place to see movies in the theatre by the way. But YOU already know this, Gibbles.

Nick Gibbons said...

I didn't even touch on talking in movies, only because to me that is the number one complaint of every moviegoer already, and seemed almost pointless to bring up. Besides those assnuggets that talk in the film are usually teenagers that are trying to either start shit or impress their friends, and nothing you do or say to them will faze them because they are stupid kids.

I would love to have a basement where I could throw a black bag over their heads after they have been rude in the movies and take them into a "Hostel"-like setting and scare the ever living shit out of them to try and instill a modest amount of respect into their tiny, horrible-parent-having, retarded brains.

But I digress...

RayChase said...

This is why I like to sit in the last row of the theater...allll the way in the back. When people talk or make noise or act stupid the sound is going away from you and is 75% less annoying.

This of course does not work when the annoying party is RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!! At Two Towers we were in the last row and two girls about 12 sat beside me talking and laughing. After I told them to please stop they almost sort of got quiet...but my thought was "why are you here?? if you want to giggle and talk go to the food court."

At Dead Man's Chest a woman, in a normal to loud voice, began asplaining everything to her son. "See that's a prison where they put the criminals...." DOES HE HAVE EYES??!!! IS HE WATCHING THIS MOVIE TOO??!! ok time to move to the OTHER side of the theater....

Bourne did kick all sorts of ass and we had only one incident. I think a dude a few rows up got some bad news via his cell phone which was followed by some ranting and raving before he left the theater. GO BOURNE!!