Mouse Hunt

Sunday morning around 6 am, my wife got up to use the bathroom. Nothing to unusual, she stopped peeing the bed years ago. I remember waking up for a second as she got up and exited the room. Then 3 seconds later, the door to our bedroom, which is literally 2 feet away from me, slams open and she burst into the room screaming and jumps on the bed. It scared the living shit out of me. Turns out there was a mouse in the bathtub. That would have been fine, but apparently this guy had been eating some toxic waste that had obviously given him super-rodent strength, because he jumped out of the tub and ran at Nancy.

I have since placed kryptonite laden cheese in mouse traps around the apartment, so hopefully we'll catch the little guy. I hope we do soon, because I have to check the bathroom every time she goes in there now. It's such a pain, because our mansion is so huge. I have to walk all the way from my lavish study, across the library, the dining room, the tennis court, and finally the tiger pit just to get the bathroom. Doesn't she know I have snifters of Cognac to drink and fine Cuban cigars to smoke while I gaze upon the enormous portrait of myself in my safari outfit holding my elephant gun?

We bought a new camera for our vacation yesterday. We went to this place called B&H. If you don't live in New York you have probably never heard of it. This place should be on every ones list of things to see in New York City. It was insane! It's an electronics store run completely by Hasidic Jews. It's a pretty big place and it was absolutely packed with people. I mean Nancy and I went to some pretty popular places this weekend, and non of them could hold a candle to the amount of people in this place. We had to wait in line to get our camera. B&H has this system of rollers above you that they shoot merchandise all over the store on. You don't take your item up to the front like a normal store. They give you a receipt that you take to a cashier. After you pay, the cashier gives you another receipt that you take to a pick up line. There you trade that in for your merchandise that is already bagged up and ready to go. Also they have free candy and flat soda everywhere in the store. Me and Nancy ate a shit ton of candy.

Gotta write some more, I told myself I was going to get to page 40 on the screenplay today or I was going to give myself a reprimand. I can't afford to fire myself right now so I have to get back to work.