Friday, August 3, 2007

I see dead people

OK it was A dead person, and it was wrapped in a black dead person bag, but I saw it nonetheless. It was about noon and I was making some lunch in the kitchen. I heard a loud clanking noise in the entrance way of our apartment. For those of you that've never been to one of me and my wives orgies, we live on the first floor, which is actually underground slightly. Our apartment is like those 4ft above ground pools that someone puts in a 2ft hole. When you look out our window you see feet and legs, so when things bang on the pavement it's pretty loud in our place.

I didn't think much about it at first. I figured it was just someone with their grocery cart going up the front steps or that an old lady with a walker fell over. After a minute or so of making lunch I happened to walk past the window that looked out onto the middle of our places entrance way. I Gladys Kravitzed the blinds to take a quick look at what had caused the noise earlier, fully expecting nothing to be there at this point. I was shocked to see one of those gurneys that folds down from an ambulance 2 feet away from my window, with a body wrapped in one of those body bags. The gurney was flat to the ground. As I relentlessly glared, they raised the gurney and carted it off. Next about 5 cops exited the front of the building. I ran to my room and looked out the window facing the street and there were 3 cop cars and an ambulance. It was awesome.

My imagination board was processing that the person had been brutally murdered, but my logic circuits were telling me it was a 95 year old woman that passed away in her sleep. I thought about going outside and asking what happened, but that would require me putting on clothes, screw that noise.

For lunch I warmed up some pizza I had ordered the night before. Immediately after I finished the pizza, my stomach started hurting really bad. It eventually went away. I'm going to eat the rest of the pizza for lunch today, it's called testing a theory. If I'm double over and spitting up blood again, then my theory that the pizza was bad will be sound at which point I can publish my findings.

I need to get some writing work and fast.


tomsaville said...

Gosh, I hope a everyone is ok...but probably not.

Nick Gibbons said...

I changed that so now you look like a fool!

tomsaville said...

You think you're so clever, don't you?! So clever in fact...we should get drinks sometime soon. I misses the Gibbonses.

Do you have the revised screenplay? You sent it to me when a tornado of work came in. Plus, I'm a yutz.