Well my first day of juroring has come to a close. I can't tell you anything about the case yet. I can tell you however that, luckily, I had terrible stomach cramps coupled with hot and spicy diarrhea for the first part of the day. Let me go on the record as saying, nothing goes better with sitting in a room you can't leave for hours than diarrhea and an asshole that feels like lava has been erupting out of it for days.
I can tell you what I did for lunch today. I went to a little place in the court district called Wow Cafe. While I ate my lunch I saw not 1, not 2, but 3 people angrily return their order because it was wrong. I guess the Wow stood for "Wow you guys suck"
They have a couple laptops from the 1940s in a small room so jurors can check their e-mail. After you wind the crank a couple of times, it started up the laptops combustion engine. I guess a lot of jurors have bad eyesight, because the resolution on the monitor was so low that I could only read about two letters of my e-mail at a time.
After one of my "sessions" in the courts lovely and lush public bathrooms, I exited my stall to discover a dude smoking, what I believed to be pot in the stall beside me. I saw him because the stall he decided to this this in didn't have a door. He was startled when I came out and I smelled smoke for a second. He acted really suspicious when I saw him and he quickly left the bathroom. I don't smoke pot, but I can think of about 1000 safer places to light up a blunt than a NYC court house bathroom.
I really really really want to ask the judge after the trial when this episodes going to air, but I think I might get thrown in jail.
More tomorrow my pretties.