Sorry, I lost my blog over a month ago and just found it under a pile of magazines on the coffee table. No doubt all of you are just dying to know what has been going on in my life for the past month. What was that? I couldn't hear you over the crickets.
I know there's no excuse for ignoring my blog, it's selfish and shallow. Just like having a blog in the first place. The show I was project managing was kicking my ass. The last thing I wanted to do when I got home was stare at a computer some more. Well, we finally finished the first season of Archer and are now on the dreaded hiatus. Good news is we got a second season, bad news is it doesn't start back up for another "unpaid" month.
This break will give me a chance to catch up on a few things, important things like blogging. After all, nothing is more important than informing the spam-bot that keeps leaving grammatically inept comments about financial security and comments in Japanese on my blog entries. I'm not deluded enough to think that anyone reads this damn thing and the only reason I'm doing a blog is to have a record of my life. When I get Alzheimers, I can read this blog and say, "Who the hell is this guy, and why is he so lame?"
Without further delay, here are a couple of things that have happened over the long blog break. I hope you are all seated with your safety harness firmly strapping you in, and please keep your hands and legs inside the blog at all time.
I applied for a job at a video game company recently. They required a 1500 word writing sample. I have a buddy that works there and he told me it should be space related, so I wrote an excerpt from a story/script hybrid. It was very sci-fi novel-ish. 1678 words, and a week later I got the old thanks but no thanks e-mail. I printed it out and pasted it on the wall of rejection letters, I've almost wallpapered the guest room at this point.
I had a lot of fun writing it though, and I've decided to actually write a shitty sci-fi pulp novel. I'm 2008 words in and its as good as one would expect. I'm planning to tinker with it each day when I don't have a hundred other things to do. It's not at the top of my list of projects to finish, but it is a good filler. Out of a fit of laziness I'm planning to write it blind, and by that I mean just go where the story takes me as I write. Lately I've been a hyper planner when it comes to writing, but this is just for fun, so screw it.
I have also decided to use some of my time off to build a screened in porch/tiki hut at the end of our yard. We have a creek behind our house and the thought of hanging out outside without some sort of proactive barrier frightens me, because the mosquitoes in Atlanta are as big as a Yugos and unionized. I plan to post little videos of the process so when I'm in court because I didn't apply for any permits from the city they will have an ironclad case against me.
Now here are random photos of things that have taken place over the past couple months. Some of them I have posted on facebook, but my mom doesn't have a facebook account so this is more for her. Hi mom.
Here I am as the village blacksmith in an episode of an improv show called Monster Movie at Dad's Garage. I ended up smelting an amazing sword so heavey no one could pick it up.
Nancy has been really good at teaching the dog tricks. Here Chewy is reading a book with Nancy. It's not THAT impressive, Chewy can only read at a 5th grade level.
I was in another show at Dad's called Murder She Improvised, which is an improvised murder mystery. This particular episode I was a bass fisherman named Skeet.
We took Chewy for a walk in Piedmont Park a while back and I found Santa's sleigh. We still haven't found his body and fear the worst.
This is from another Murder She Improvised, here I played championship wrestler Dusty Pancakes. I put on some weight for the role.
Remember the day it snowed? Everywhere?
They are rebooting the sitcom Home Improvement, this was my audition.
I had a cough for about two months. Instead of just ignoring it until I died, Nancy made me go to the doctor. He took a chest x-ray. Not on this machine, I had to stand in front of the wall next to this machine, but a picture of the wall wasn't as cool.
Apparently, according to this "doctor", I have high blood pressure. I was all like, "No I don't fuck you Doc!" Then he was like "No, Fuck you!" and I was like "Fuck you Doc." Then he put his cigarette out on my arm, and now you know what happens at my doctor when you spill paint in the garage.
There's this bad ass walking trail in our neighborhood. We had walked all the way to what we thought was then end of the trail about 7 months ago. We took another walk on it this past weekend and it seems like if we would have turned right and walked 20 more feet at the end of the trail the first time, we would have seen this:
It's a good thing we brought our spray paint, after tagging the wall we went back home.
That's all for now.... or is it? Here is a bonus video. My buddy Ricki Derek had a Christmas show in December. Unfortunately I couldn't make it down to be in the show, but I put together a little video segment for the show and it's safe to show now. Enjoy?