My senior year in high school, I some how won the distinguished honor of being voted "Most Vivacious". When I found out that I had won, I immediately looked the word up in the dictionary. It means: Vibrant: vigorous and animated. I have decided to include this on my resume.
I wasn't one of the "popular" kids in high school. I did sleep with the entire football team, but that's for another blog entry. I marched to the beat of my own drummer. I was concerned about being liked by people, but that's a human trait which afflicts us all, especially in high school. I was more concerned with shooting stupid videos and trying to make people laugh. Come to think of it, not a lot has changed.
Being funny has always been one of the most important things to me. I would rather make someone laugh than win a stuffed animal any day of the week. That's why I was a tad confused when I was voted most vivacious. Don't get me wrong, it was an honor, and to be honest I'm not sure when the votes where cast, who voted, or that I was actually even in the running. A lot of my childhood memories are hazy though. Not from drug use or drinking, I just never had time to store anything in my head other than ideas for stupid videos I wanted to shoot.
I can remember, however, actually being upset that I didn't get voted "Funniest" senior. This left an indelible mark on my emotional time line. I don't remember the first girl I kissed, but I damn sure remember being pissed that some dude I never even met got voted funniest senior.
Part of the duties of the newly elected high school elite, was getting a photo for the year book with your female counterpart. We all met on a certain day and got paired up for our honorary year book spread. This was the first and so far, last time I would see the dude that was voted funniest. I had never met him or even heard of him until that moment. And after spending a day with him I was even more offended. Not once did he do, say, or pantomime anything even remotely amusing. I was confused to say the least. If this guy was so fucking hilarious, wouldn't I have heard of him? Wouldn't his exploits be talked about in the halloed hallways of our great and prestigious learning institution? Surely someone who was voted on by his peers unanimously as being the funniest person they knew at the time would have crossed paths with me at least once.
Oh well, there's no use living in the past. What's done is done. If I would have even been aware that this weird "funniest person" political race was being run, I would've put up a few posters, printed some buttons, or shook a few hands (with a hand buzzer of course).
If on the off chance the dude who won is reading this, let me just say congratulations. You ran a clean race, and it was an honor even being in the competition with you. It was a hard defeat for me, and in the end the people spoke. Maybe someday we will meet on the field of battle, cream pies in hand, and find out who's really the funniest senior. Until then, I bow to you good sir, and will serve you until my dying breath.