Last night Nancy and I carved the shit out of some pumpkins in honor of All Hallows Eve. You can almost taste the carnage.
I dreamt this or saw it on TV, but either way I told Nancy it was better to cut the hole out of the bottom of the pumpkin instead of the top. I hear a lot of "facts" that I tend to regurgitate in everyday conversation. Sometimes these "facts" are actual things I've heard and sometimes they are completely fabricated in my warped mind. I never know 100% myself whether or not what I'm swearing to be true is in fact true. This time it turned out to work in our favor, so I probably did hear it on TV. I do watch a lot of talk shows in the morning... I mean I do get up early, jog, then work on my screenplays in the morning.
Here is Nancy defiling the ass of her pumpkin, don't worry, she slipped it a roofie first.
I like to pretend that I'm a really inept surgeon preforming his first operation.
My God! What have I done? Nurse, call the morgue immediately!
Look at the mess we made. Nancy is marveling at her gourdian masterpiece.
I'm very serious when it comes to carving. I'm a skilled artisan. I'm like the DaVinci of pumpkin carving. In fact if you look closely at the finished product there is a hidden code.
As Nancy glares at the surrounding mess, she wonders if it was all worth it. The screams, the guts, the pleading. Was her demented lust for the temporary adrenalin rush derived from violently carving a helpless gourde worth it? All she can do now is sit and wait. She will be judged someday for her sick cravings.
I pluck the eye from my pumpkin, blinding him, or giving him sight. It's all relative.
I used some vampire fangs I had to dress up my little guy.
There they are, your 2007 Gibbons and Crowder Pumpkins!
Have a great Halloween guys, watch out for razor blades in apples.
No comments:
Post a Comment