Friday, October 26, 2007

Texas State Fried, I mean Fair

I went to Dallas last week. On the surface my trip was to facilitate a big time awesome Night-OH-Cabaret show, but the real reason for planning a show that week was to go to the State Fair of Texas. I'm deadly serious when I say the ONLY reason we planned a show was for me to have an excuse to come to Dallas and go to the fair. It's always a great time, and this year was no execption. If you like to buy things with coupons, drink beer all day, have anything you can think of flash fried, and risk your life on a roller coaster made out of an erector set, then this is the place for you!

I arrived in Dallas Wednesday morning around 10 am. From there we made a pit stop at Derek's house to grab can goods because it was "Bring 3 can goods and get in for a dollar" day at the fair. Around 6 of us ended up going to the fair and this is what we donated to the canned good drive.

Stay away from Dallas for the next 2 weeks or so, because all the homeless people are going to have gas at the same time.

Several years ago at the State Fair, this ride killed someone and they took it down. Well it's back this year! It's not really that exciting a ride, but there's always the "could possibly kill you" aspect that adds to the fun.

One of the first things we saw at the fair was the human canon ball. Here's his wife's butt... oh yeah, and the canon.

Freudian much?

Here's the man, the myth, the community college drop out!

And here he is in action!

My buddy Paul used his bad ass camera to take a sequence of images and then I used the magic of photoshop to make it into an animated gif, however there was nothing either of us could do to make this more interesting. Oh well.

This little guy made creating the waste that is slowly destroying our planet fun!

Oh Nick, do you ever take a break from being hilarious? Answer, no I don't.

On our way to see the awesome BMX show, and by awesome I mean not awesome at all, Derek challenged me to a race on the slide. I won't tell you who won, but it was me.

Every year Derek wants to ride the roller coaster. It's a snug fit but with some vasaline and a shoe horn we got him into the car.

Yes it's as flimsy as it looks. Seriously this thing looks the the model of the roller coaster that you look at to build the actual roller coaster.

Here we are, best buds, sitting WAY to close to each other.

After almost dying on the roller coaster, we made or way to the BMX show. The "show" consisted of 3 dudes, all in their 30s, riding bikes over ramps as this other fat guy with a bad surfer dude dye job told us what the guys were doing on a PA system. At the end of the show they got 5 volunteers from the audience to lay down on the concrete as one of the bikers jumped over them.

No one got hurt, but dude, seriously, no thanks. I don't want to be in the back of an ambulance as my friends tell the EMP's that I was the last guy in a row of 5 being jumped over buy a BMX biker. I think they would be laughing to hard to save my life.

This guy, for those of you that aren't from Dallas, is Big Tex. I would look up facts about him and tell you how long he's been there, but I don't care. Lets say he's been there for 20 years or something. Anyway, his mouth moves very slowly as some dude welcomes people and informs them about the fair throughout the day. He's like a huge ventriloquists dummy.

The dude that talks for him does it live on a microphone. I had no idea what he looked like, but Derek did and he spotted him hanging out with some carnies. Derek told me to get a picture with him. I did.

Next order of business was to get a taste of some fried goodness. This year, everyone was a flutter talking about on e thing. The goodness that was fried cookie dough. We rushed to find a stand that was selling this delightful treat. We pasted 20 booths selling 20 different fried items before we found it. We gave them the 12 coupons and dug in. It was a little bit of a let down, but come on, anything tastes great fried.

And it came in this great classic car box thing, that made getting a heart attack seem fun.

OK that's it for today, I'll finish up the fair tomorrow. Coming up: animals, ferris wheels, and more fried crap.

See ya soon...


Reagan said...

OMG, fried cookie dough?! I think I now have a new pregnancy craving but no way to fulfill it :-(

Nick Gibbons said...

I could've mailed you some, now it's all over. You have 12 months to get pregnant again. Should be no problem.

Melissa said...

The last state fair I went to was with you and we were hog tied and dropped like 800 feet from a crane! I think it was one of those weird rodeo things that they ask for audience participation...

Nick Gibbons said...

I think we paid like 20 bucks each to do it. The drop wasn't scary, the dude that shackled us in was.