Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I'm totally stoked!

I discovered a new measurement of time at lunch today. It's the split second between when you think, "Maybe I should cover this procedure with my other hand" and you shoot painful stinging acidic juice in your eye. It's called the "Speed of Lemon". It's a breakthrough for science, and I only had to irritate the fuck out of one of my eyes to discover it. Go Science!

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my messed up ankle examined. She made me get an x-ray which turned up no conclusive evidence. I just sprang my ankle really really bad. It's still bruised and puffy. I guess it's going to take a while to get back to it's normal foot shape.

I can't wait, I ordered a passport from China that says I'm 16 years old. It should be here soon. Now I can finally perform my uneven bars routine in the Olympics! U S A! U S A!

1 comment:

sam said...

Science is fun. At least that what Mr. Wizard told me when I was a kid.

I hope they x-rayed your junk. We don't want you reproducing or anything.