Monday, May 11, 2009

The World is a Safer Place

It's official, the world's a much safer place now that facebook, twitter, myspace, and every other social networking site has appeared on the scene. Now stalkers can leer, drool, and gawk at their prey from the privacy of their own one room apartments above the garage of that nice old couple.

Stalkers used to have to wait outside they're ex girlfriend/ex fiance/ex wife/the new receptionist's work for hours; waiting for them to emerge so they could follow them home. The stalker had to wear all black and climb trees to get a glimpse through the window of their obsession. Not only was it dangerous, but grass stains and tree sap are really hard to get out of clothing.

As if clinging to a tree branch wasn't bad enough, we... I mean they used to have to buy all kinds of expensive night vision goggles and binoculars. It was hard because night manager jobs at convenience stores just didn't pay that much. Stalkers would compile hundreds of dollars in credit card debt trying to keep up with the latest in high tech surveillance equipment.

Wire taps, cameras, stolen underwear, developing all that film for the huge wall montage/shrine. It just ate up all a persons free time. Now, thankfully, all you have to do is become your targets friend online and a world of pictures, status updates, and location information opens up to you. It's like a stalker invented it.

Yep, it's a good, and safer, time to be a stalker.

1 comment:

SAM said...

Thank goodness! You are so right. It does make it easier to stalk you, Nick. I am looking at you right now!