This is an open letter to J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, The Farely Brothers, Adam McKay and Seth MacFarlane.
I'm open for negotiations to the rights of the amazing character/concept that is "Radioactive Crotch Man". This is screaming to be made into a major motion picture, in 3-D no less. You can't tell me that any of you guys wouldn't want bragging rights about making the longest dick joke in history.
Just imagine Adam Sandler ,Seth Rogan or Jim Carey, as mild mannered hot dog vender, Dick Peters. Dick has been dealt a bad hand and his life seems to be in the toilet. Until the day when he is hit in the crotch by a meteor, that imbues his nether regions with strange super powers. Using his new found "gifts" he cleans up his home town and gets the girl of his dreams.
Sure the crotch jokes would come fast and furiously, but there is plenty of room for a well written and thoughtfully developed twist on the super hero genre. Curiosity alone will net you 50 million the first weekend, guaranteed. That 18 to 34 year old male audience is dying for something like this.
So lets get the ball rolling, you can call me any time of the day or night. Looking forward to working with one of you lucky lucky guys.